Surf First

ALL GONE: The oil's still there, only the media has dissipated

2010-09-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

That didn't take long. What with the spill 'contained' and the oil gone (not really, as this post shows) the media's back to VMAs and Q'uran burning psych-outs and all the other nonsense that keeps us distracted so we can go back to not carrying about the Gulf Coast. That's what The Powers That Be always do in with places they deem inferior. What follows is the unedited text of what Surfing ran from my ISD trip with Patrick Ruddy. (Thanks for the photo, Pat.) I figured our nation would soon forget, just not this quickly. Now what got clipped seems more important than what ran. I've bolded that stretch for your convenience (and maybe just to yell a little more):

These beaches are clean.

For four days, that’s all we hear. But what folks say, and what you see — what you smell, inhale and gag-on — are two different things. And you can spot the bullshit from a mile away.

Or in this case, a mile up. Flying in over Pensacola Bay, brown ribbons of sheen flow out like a diarrhea slick. And the close-up is even grosser. Drive into Alabama, white sugar turns to brown stain just above the shoreline. The air turns to petrol fumes you can smell from the parking lot. And last summer’s circus turns to this season’s desert.

Miles of sand. Buckets of sunshine. Dozens of chairs. But no takers. Except for the work crews — wearing gloves, raking tar-pebbles into plastic bags to stuff in front-end loaders and, later, incinerators. The only bright-colored floats are containment booms, orange-and-yellow barriers that keep the slick from going upstream — but do little to keep it from running up the coast.

Already, one Panhandle surfer’s been treated for skin burns and cornea damage. In Seaside Beach, kids come out of the water covered in oil, only to find paper towels instead of public warnings. Walton County spends $1.25 million dollars of BP payola — not to clean up the mess, but to convince Tennessee tourists to taste the good life at a cheap price. Meanwhile, back in Alabama, the Governor spends his Father’s Day weekend screaming, “Y’all come on down!” into TV cameras (then whispers, “use your best judgment” when it comes time to swim).

Taking a boat to the pass, a family chooses to frolic just off the marina. Trailer park MILF, bikini shallow, burning Marlboro 100s. Dad’s floating on his back with a Busch Light on his belly. Two toddlers spit water in each other’s faces.

“No sheen!” they scream, oblivious to the boom line a mile away.

They’re not backward — just ignorant. But for most Americans, being clueless — and a bit quirky — is still reason enough to condemn.

Would we care more if it were a different species? Not of pelican or turtle — but of human? If the people of the Gulf were all pretty and perfect? Rich and powerful? If they weren’t like the reefer-smoking Rasta sneaking rum from a Starbuck’s cup. Or the guy casting lines buck-naked in a lightning storm. If they weren’t like… this woman. Bra-less, black-toothed. Babbling ‘bout her bad back. Sporting a soiled pink elephant novelty hat, pulling cans from random park trashcans to eek by. Apparently, she and her husband are more disposable than the aluminum shells they shovel behind them and carry off for better use.

Is that the problem? God, I hope not. Because that means surfers. Locals. Tourists. Beach bums of every stripe. We’re disposable, too.

That may be the ultimate lesson of this whole disaster. How greed conquers all. It’s not just Big Oil sacrificing irreplaceable green marshlands to preserve precious black gold. But the equally callous coastal towns who, facing a catastrophic summer season, willingly urge man, woman and child into a toxic cocktail of spilled slick and cancerous dispersant — the type of chemicals that twist today’s chromosomes into tomorrow’s cretins — as long as it keeps the vacation dollars multiplying. A sweep-it-under-the-rug sales pitch straight from Jaws where the town fathers tell their own kind that everything’s safe — all because you can’t see the shark. Until it’s too late.

This situation’s just as dangerous, huge, and mean. Only this one’s invisible. And that’s what these towns are banking on. That’s why the work crews spend 12-hour shifts scraping tar off the main beaches. It’s not to keep you safe — it’s to keep you stupid. Cruise to a stretch of Condo-free coast, and it’s impossible to reach the water without touching some tacky piece of prune-sized putty with the texture of fruit filling and the smell of asphalt. Proof we’ve finally found a way to pave the ocean.

And this is only the beginning. The leading edge of a disaster with no end in sight and no answers of what to do next. BP’s CEO just paid out 1000 “I don’t knows” to the U.S. Senate. And for once, he’s being honest. Nobody knows nothing.

Nobody’s even tested for “topkill” for a month — how can they tell what it will do over time? That gradual influx of foreign chemicals and unseen contaminants. The sheen before the sheen.
Will it enter the loop current and move up the coast? Will it streak west and show the true meaning of messing with Texas? Will it circumnavigate the globe, silent but deadly?

And how long, can we surfers hold out? How many ISD’s can we spend skating and waking in some backwater bayou? How many summers can we stand in burning sand, sizing up all that suspiciously clear saline — flames of torture and desire licking our senses, sweat soaking our bodies — before we finally break down? Duck-diving and pulling in with our eyes wide open.

Truth be told, if the right wave peaked among that cluster of tarballs, I’d paddle out and pay later. Telling myself it ain’t all that bad. Not because I believed it— but because the alternative is too painful. Like losing money is too painful for businessmen. Like losing elections is too painful for politicians. Just like those poor pelicans who see a sketchy patch of water and can’t help but land. It’s in our nature. So we repeat to ourselves and everyone else what we wish was true, no matter how false it is. Because it’s those crazy lies that keep us from going insane — even if it kills us in the end.

So fuck the truth. And your surf spot, your lifestyle, and your health. And fuck your two-headed baby. Just keep telling yourself: “These beaches are clean.”

Editor’s note: three days after ISD, tar coated 8 miles of Pensacola Beach. One week later, 400 sought medical care in Escambia County.

TARBALL DISCOUNT: One man’s environmental disaster is another’s economic opportunity

2010-06-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

Somewhere under a Gulf Shores pavilion, Alabama Governor Bob Riley is sweating tarballs. Not just because it’s 100 degrees and the ocean’s an unsympathetic, oily mess. But because beach tourism is down 50% and fixing to plummet further. So when he’s not sweating, he’s pitching. Pleading into a row of boom mikes and news cameras. Praying that mainstream masses turn a blind eye to all the oily pelicans on their TV screens and come sit on the white sugar spoonfuls of his otherwise soiled coastline. Unfortunately, “you’ll get used to the diesel smell” isn’t much of a sales pitch. Neither is “tarball bocci.” So he paints a fantasy of waterparks without lines. Dining rooms without waits. Hotels with massive pools and miniscule prices. Or as his PR partner-in-crime Senator Dick Shelby puts it: “Alabama is a heck of a bargain right now!”

You can’t blame the fellas. Coastal businesses are hurting. But there’s something sketchy about “protectors of the people” encouraging their greater constituency to visit an area where oil sheens come and go without warning — along with dispersants known to cause organ damage and potential reproductive harm — then saying “use your best judgment” when it comes time to swim. And the approach is straight-up shameless. A pitiful mix of patriotic guilt-trip and street-corner begging.

“Don’t’ be scared to spend your dollars! Y’all come down to Alabama!”

That’s actually the first lady — baby in arms to complete the image of the heartbroken grandma. But it’s the tourist bureau that busts out with the big guns, reading a letter from a lifetime visitor who says he enjoys the people and restaurants even more than the beach. And he’ll be back this summer because “that’s the American thing to do.”

He’s right. That is the American thing to do: to try and make a buck no matter how oil-stained, green washed, or just plain evil. Somewhere in Tennessee, Myrtle Beach is running ads to lure Louisiana’s usual tourists — whetting the appetites of still more other East Coast towns eager to cannibalize each other’s markets. In Florida, Spirit Airlines is mixing oil-slicked bikinis and bad puns to keep folks flying down. And the closer you get to ground zero, the more hard-sell things get.

In a single Saturday, I met . . .

A tour leader moaning that his annual baseball camps of 3000 kids are now down to 60. (That’s 2940 pre-teens who may not to be tempted to play catch in mix of petroleum and the neurotoxin pesticide meant to keep it under the surface.)

A hot chick armed with 500 ‘Cool Pouches’ — basically pre-folded towels, bunched at the ends and packed with ice — that she’s selfishly handing out to cleanup crews and members of the press (in hopes that we’re feeling just as generous).

And let’s not forget the folks at Crown LLC. Who, in their mission to “reclaim the Earth’s natural resources . . ..harmed in our quest for energy independence” wasted no time in developing a special machine that sifts oil from sand right on the beach. “Take all the pictures you want!” invites the president. (He says he laments the tragedy, but seems more troubled that NBC still won’t come see their demo.)

And that’s just one beach park. Drive east to Pensacola, you’ll find more signs saying “tarball discount” than “biohazard.” In Walton County, they’re spending a cool $1.25 million of BP’s payola on fresh spots — TV spots, not oil spots. And be sure to visit Seaside Florida, the town where reports of an unforeseen oil slick put authorities on red alert — not to warn citizens, but to threaten activists and reporters with arrest for spreading the news.

So, hate BP all you want, but they ain’t the only money-grubbing, black soul on the block. And that’s the scariest lesson of this whole damn debacle. From ‘tophat’ to ‘top kill’ it’s not the environmental toll making calls – it’s economics. Otherwise, a judge wouldn’t reverse the six-month deep-will moratorium, putting irreplaceable natural resources at risk to save the very industries that threaten it. Otherwise, Obama himself would stop the insanity once and for all with a new, federal moratorium. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here either. Racing around looking for ‘compelling images.’

Sure, my end goal may be pure, but the means to that end requires selling mags and driving web traffic. And I’m far from alone. When a movie cameraman sneaks up to poach our carefully crafted photo, a media catfight ensues. (Apparently the makers of “The Cove” smell fresh blood.) He skulks off, then turns.

“We’re all the same here, bro!” he shouts over his shoulder: “All we’re trying to do is our jobs!”

How true.

ENERGY PIMPS: MMS looks to ho-out Atlantic coast, even as the Gulf takes a beating

2010-04-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

“The U.S. Department of the Interior protects America’s natural resources and heritage, honors our cultures and tribal communities, and supplies the energy to power our future.”

That’s how the DOI describes itself. But I’ve got a better description: energy pimps. At least for its Mineral Management Service. After all, how else can you describe an organization who actively aims to exploit a fresh piece of coastal ass even as it’s wore-out beat up Louisiana hooker is bleeding to the tune of 200,000 gallons of oil per day. And when I say exploit. I mean exploit.

I just got back from the MMS meeting in Norfolk over seismic testing. The first round of battles that’ll go down before they get to drilling. Call it the foreplay before getting down to the real rude and crude business.

I heard the Governor of Virginia’s spokesperson open the hearing by calling the Gulf disaster a “setback.” I also heard an oil lobbyist shamelessly urge the MMS to push into the North Atlantic, even as they’re dealing with a spill large than Rhode Island. But the most salacious “hey baby” sales pitch of all came from the MMS smooth talkers themselves.

Not only did they downplay the damage to marine mammals that seismic guns cause and it’s effects on commercial fishing, they actually implied that finding oil and gas was only one small reason for exploring. A minor concern. A side note. Number 3 on a list of more noble motivators like understanding which bathymetry worked for windfarms or finding suitable sand for beach nourishment in case a hurricane rips our coast apart.

And as I watched them grease the room with a mix of false promises and fear, it came to me. They’re not just the pimps, they’re the hos. And the johns. Playing whatever role the energy lobbies and companies want – so long as they get paid. The only difference is, when the transaction’s made and the money changes hands, they strut away in their fine fancy suits – while we coastal residents get royally fucked.

MECCA NO MORE: Cape Hatteras officially closed to surfers

2010-04-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

April Fools.

Yeah, we know, websites live for this day to make up BS stories. The difference? This one could come true — at least, partially — as the National Park Service is in the final stages of determining how to handle ORV and Pedestrian Access along Cape Hatteras National Seashore. What they decide could close miles of some of the East Coast’ best sandbars during the most active times of year. And you only have until May 11 to make yourself heard by public comment.

It’s a complex issue – complete with an 810-page document -- so here’s the Cliff’s Notes:

On one side, you’ve got Audubon, Defenders of Wildlife and others looking to restrict the maximum number of miles to both beach driving and people. On the other, you’ve got fishermen, local business owners and a whole lot of angry locals screaming “all access, all the time.” The final decision will likely like somewhere in between. In fact, the NPS preferred recommendation -- Alternative F (sounds like a bad 80s techno band) -- mixes new parking zones with seasonal closures around several miles of ‘secret” sandbars, plus no night driving for most of the year.

Granted, we’re no experts, but of them all Alternative C seems to preserve the most possible access to the best surfing areas for the most time, while keeping some common sense ideas in place. (On an island filled with drive-thru beer stores, maybe requiring ORV permits will keep a few drunken yahoos from burying their Escalade in a turtle nest.)

The point is: if you care, check out the document and take the time to voice your opinion. Be sure to speak up for surf access specifically. You can also list your preferred alternatives in order.

Also, since there’s been no real scientific study connecting ORVs with bird mortality — except the federal vehicle that ran over a nest a few years back — and 88% of deaths is attributed to weather and predators, demand the NPS keep studying how these closures are affecting species survival in hopes of looser, more reliable restrictions in the future. And if you live in one of the following areas – or just have the free time to drive -- attend one of the five hearings below.

Whatever you do, speak out. Now. To do anything else would be foolish.

PUBLIC HEARING SCHEDULE:

Ocracoke, NC – Monday, April 26, 2010, 9:00 am to 11:00 am
Ocracoke School, 1 Schoolhouse Road, Ocracoke, NC 27960
(Doors open at 8:30 am for sign-in, the meeting will begin at 9:00 am)

Buxton, NC – Monday, April 26, 2010, 5:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Cape Hatteras Secondary School, 48576 Hwy. 12, Buxton, NC 27920
(Doors open at 4:30 pm for sign-in, the meeting will begin at 5:00 pm)

Kill Devil Hills, NC – Tuesday, April 27, 2010, 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Wright Brothers National Memorial First Flight Centennial Pavilion,
1000 Croatan Hwy., M.P. 7 ½, Kill Devil Hills, NC 27948
(Doors open at 5:30 pm for sign-in, the meeting will begin at 6:00 pm)

Raleigh, NC – Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm
McKimmon Conference & Training Center (NC State University Campus),
1101 Gorman Street, Raleigh, NC 27695
(Doors open at 5:30 pm for sign-in, the meeting will begin at 6:00 pm)

Hampton, VA – Thursday, April 29, 2010, 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Holiday Inn & Conference Center,
1815 West Mercury Boulevard, Hampton, VA 23666
(Doors open at 5:30 pm for sign-in, the meeting will begin at 6:00 pm)

Coalition for Beach Access is holding work shops on making informed public comments at the following Outer Banks workshops:
Tue., April 13, 6:30pm – BUXTON, Cape Hatteras Secondary School
Wed., April 14, 7:00pm – OCRACOKE, Community Building
Thur., April 15, 6:30pm – KILL DEVIL HILLS, First Flight High School

Learn more PreserveBeachAccess.org

SUPERFREAK TO THE RESCUE: Slates joins the World Surfing Reserves Movement

2010-03-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's hardly a shocker. Our legendary 9-time champ's used his huge influence -- and wallet -- to help in a variety of fights, whether raising dough to save Trestles or writing letters to preserve access on Hatteras. This time, he's joined forces with World Surfing Reserves, which aims to protect the planet's most revered surf zones by granting them a holy status of say Jerusalem. (Or at least, Graceland.) But whatever it is, we back it. And we back Kelly -- surfing's fitter, soberer answer to Elvis -- for throwing his weight around on surfing's behalf.

Get the full Press Release below. And stay tuned for updates on Surf-First's data crunching efforts to protect every US break. Because not all of us can make the drive to Graceland.

Kelly Slater Joins World Surfing Reserves Movement

First trio of World Surfing Reserves to be in Australia, California,
and Hawaii

13 March 2010

Bondi Beach, Australia - Nine-times World Surfing Champion Kelly Slater joined National Surfing Reserves founder Brad Farmer to announce his endorsement for the World Surfing Reserves program, and that 2010 will be the year of global surf spot enshrinements. In announcing this historic year for surf-spot preservation, Slater stated, "This is a pretty exciting thing for me to be a part of and support. It's almost mind-numbing that [WSR] hasn't happened yet, especially in Hawaii, the birthplace of surfing."

World Surfing Reserves seeks to identify and enshrine the most important and cherished surf areas around the world, in partnership with local surf communities. World Surfing Reserve (WSR) sites are nominated and selected based on four major criteria: quality and consistency of waves, importance to surf culture and history, environmental characteristics, and community support.

The naming of the specific WSR sites is anticipated soon, according to Dean LaTourrette, Executive Director of the California-based Save The Waves Coalition, which launched the World Surfing Reserves program in 2009, in conjunction with National Surfing Reserves Australia.

Several surf areas in Australia, California, and Hawaii have been proposed for enshrinement as initial WSRs. These were selected from over 125 iconic beaches nominated from 34 countries. The nominations include sites like North Narrabeen and Manly Beach in Australia, Malibu and Santa Cruz in California, and Waikiki and Oahu's North Shore in Hawaii, in addition to many others around the world.

Beyond its cultural and aesthetic significance, each WSR is a meeting of land and sea selected for the unique and salutary nature of its waves and natural setting. The dedication of each WSR seeks the protection of this coastal zone of waves and habitat from wanton destruction and exploitation - through no other mechanism but the positive force of appreciation and valuation.

On hand at the Bondi announcement was Brad Farmer, founder of Australia's National Surfing Reserves (NSR) program, which enshrines exceptional and culturally significant waves and beaches in Australia. The NSR program has been an inspiration and model for the global WSR effort.

"Today," Farmer announced, "I join Kelly in announcing that spots in Hawaii, California, and Australia are finalists to become World Surfing Reserves." He added that, "In Australia, the three finalists are Margaret River (WA), the Gold Coast (QLD), and a Sydney (NSW) beach."

Farmer said that Australia's Prime Minister will announce the final decision in June and that, "we expect that beach to be dedicated as a WSR in October 2010."

Today at Bondi, Farmer and Slater also announced the launch of a new NSR website (www.surfingreserves.org), which offers access to this exciting new vision of respect and valuation to beach-lovers all over the world. This new site, combined with Save The Waves' WSR site (www.worldsurfingreserves.org) provides further details on the global surfing reserves movement.

For more information:
www.worldsurfingreserves.org
www.surfingreserves.org

SWELL-FARE?: When surfers charge south, shouldn’t airlines charge less?

2010-02-12T04:35:00.000-08:00

So I’m off on a trip. Not saying where, but you probably know. (Hell, half of you are already there.) Either way, the last-minute air purchase forced me to once again confront that most enraging of surf-activism issues: board charges.

Now, this topic’s been played to death as THE hot-button discrimination fight of the past decade or so. (You don’t charge for golf clubs! You don’t charge for skis!) But in the time of the Great Recession, they do. They also charge for Pepsi. Peanuts. I’m betting seat belts, pilots and cabin pressure are next. (The rest of us will be handed an oxygen mask, stuck in a giant catapult and aimed toward the horizon.) But there are upsides to such almost-equal-opportunity price gouging: a) airlines are beginning to wake up to competing in terms of how much it costs to fly your bags as yourself b) it makes it harder to complain. And when you lose the ability to whine you’re more likely to act.

So here’s how I acted: instead buying a ticket off Delta from my closest airport, I drove two extra hours to spend three bucks more for an Air Tran ride. Why? Because I hate lying. And the only thing I hate more than lying is paying $100 bucks a board each way compared to $79 a bag. So, instead of Delta making $1000; they lost $350. (Yeah, I’m using names: good actions deserve praise; screw jobs deserve punishment. So, once more: Air Tran rules, Delta drools.)

Luckily, this is the exact type of free market shit that gives CEOs and bean counters bloody, kneebuckling ulcers. (Good, you deserve it, heartless worshippers of mammon ) So if I was Delta’s CEO (douchebag), I’d do something about it. Like try to figure out when surfers would be converging on a given area and adjust my board charges. It shouldn’t be too hard: check the swell maps, see the blob, follow the arrows. Too busy? Slip an air trafficker $50 on the side to pay attention. (Those guys are the best multi-taskers in the business.) Or hire a forecaster. Or just pay some egghead to write a simple program that when the swell models lined up, the board charges disappeared. Or at least dropped to single bag fare.

If it’s “so easy a surfer can do it?” why can’t an airline? Do it enough times, they may even see it makes sense to stop charging entirely (or at least as much). Or not. Till then, surfers should just have fun boycotting the badboys. If there’s a better feeling than saving some cash, it’s screwing an airline for a change.

Remember: despite the anti-drilling rages defending Mother Ocean the past year, the primary purpose of Surf-First is defending surfer’s most selfish interests and I’d argue cold cash and cheap travel are almost as crucial as clean water, which is why we included surf trips and board charges in our survey. Don’t worry: we’re still crunching data and will update with some numbers ASAP.

Thanks to Political Graffiti for the cartoon.

ANOTHER GIFT THAT WILL KEEP ON GIVING: Surf-First’s Scott Wagner has a holiday present for all of us

2009-12-17T05:03:00.000-08:00

‘Twas the week before Christmas and not a creature was stirring….except 28-year-old Scott Wagner, who’s busy sorting ages, incomes and other bits from 5600 American waveriders. But Wagner’s no brow-beaten Bob Cratchit. He’s Surf-First’s official new man, helping Surfrider’s Chad Nelsen distill all the data. As an SDSU econ grad student and lifelong San Clemente local, tackling Surf-First’s first survey is a dream job for Scott — and a giant gift for all US surfers, who’ll one day use the info to protect their homebreaks. So cheers to Scott for the holiday overtime — and here’s to even more happy new years to come. Here’s why:

SURF-FIRST: Being from San Clemente, did the role of economics in saving Trestles pique your interest in the project at all?
SCOTT WAGNER: What got me active in the Trestles campaign was just straight-up malice in my San Clemente heart. But I’ve always thought every decision was based on economics — that’s why I pursued my degrees —and I feel like using this information to make a case for conservation on surfing areas is both new and fun. And I think it has a future.

Have you scanned any of the info yet? Anything to report?
I can’t generalize off the top of my head. Over the next couple of weeks I’ll know more. But I can say there’s a wide range of ages, habits and incomes. Actually, one thing I can say is I was surprised to some very high incomes. But I always try to go into these things with no expectations — as cheesy as that sounds.

The two that stuck out to me was seeing an 80-something from — coincidentally — Old Man’s and then a 13 year-old from someplace in Minnesota. How hard will it be to turn that range of user groups into something cohesive?
Well, for now we’re looking at doing summary statistics and describing populations by nation, state, region and surf spot — and with modern statistical programs that’s pretty simple. The most tedious part will be going over everything before inputting the data to make sure we don’t have any crazy responses that don’t belong.

Do we need to worry about you swaying the results?
If I see more than a few responses from 13-year-old kids getting high under lifeguard tower, maybe I’ll erase those. Keep the most respected individuals representing the population. [laughs]

Good work. Now, assuming we get this done by spring, what will you do when you finish up?
Well, I do have another job with the Southwest Consortium for Environmental Research and Policy. I like the whole research field. It’s like those CSI-type investigative shows, but really nerdy and without all the killing and the rape. But I say we just promote the hell out of this thing, then sell the information to make shitload of money, give half of it to Surfrider, then use the rest to go on a killer surf trip.

That would work except for we promised from the very start not to sell any info.
Oh. I didn’t see that part.

Anything else you’d like to say?
Oh yeah — hell, yeah — congrats to Greg Long for winning the Eddie. And congrats to Tanner and Pat Gudauskas and Nate Yeomans for making the WCT. So sick to see San Clemente kicking ass.

DING-DONG, THE SPILL IS DEAD…OR IS IT? Australia’s oil spill stops, but the clean-up effort’s only beginning

2009-11-05T05:33:00.000-08:00

It only took 74 days and five attempts, but they managed to plug the “Montara/West Atlas” oil spill off Australia’s coast – only to watch the buggah catch fire. But this is just the first phase. The next step? Assessing damage. Environmentalists say 9 million gallons spilled. The Aussie government says 6 million. The oil company? One million. Somewhere between cleaning up seabirds and helping sick Indonesian fisherman, they’ll figure out how big of a mess they made. But here’s what we do know, according to NotTheAnswer.org:

The cleanup of the pollution from the oil spill will take 7 years to complete.

PTTEP Australasia, the oil company responsible for the ten week long oil spill will begin drilling again in the same oil field in a matter of months.

A PTTEP spokesperson says that his company knows what caused the oil spill, but won’t tell anyone else what that cause was.

In the meantime, the Environment America just released a report called Oceans Under the Gun: Living Seas or Drilling Seas? that compares the financial value of ‘sustainable activities’ – think tourism, commercial and recreational fishing — along America’s coasts to “non-renewable oil and gas distraction.” No surprise that in every case, the sustainable wins, the biggest margin being the South Atlantic (SC, GA, FL) by a ratio of 20.8 to 1. (The smallest being the Gulf states.) The Mid-Atlantic? 3.7 — $10 billion dollar more every single year.

This region’s most compelling because the wind potential there so dwarfs the petroleum resources. Not just financially — NC alone stands to get 9100 jobs and $22.5 billion in 20 years compared to petroleum 6700 and $24 billion after 30 years – but in terms of clean, renewable energy:

“At recent prices and usage, the oil and natural gas economically available for recovery from the Mid-Atlantic could supply the nation with less than two months of oil use and three months of natural gas use at a value of $92 billion. [But] The Mid-Atlantic has the best marine offshore wind resource in shallow waters in the country. Wind farms off the Mid-Atlantic planning area could provide 15% of the current total national generating capacity or more than the entire electrical generating capacity of the Mid-Atlantic and North Atlantic states. There is so much wind energy available in the shallow waters offshore that this area could generate enough to run everything that uses electricity in the Mid-Atlantic and North Atlantic states, an area from Maine to North Carolina with approximately 60 million people in 2008.”

So, we can bolster our energy independence and our economy, or stick with petroleum – and quite possibly watch it all go up in flames. Literally.

Keep tabs on the spill crisis at blogskytruth.org.

DICK DRAGGERS UNITE! (And ‘sea sweepers’, ‘goat-boaters,’ ‘wiggle sticks’…)

2009-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

5500. That’s the number of surveys Surf-First managed to muster in just 11 months, covering every age, gender, location and discipline. So pat yourselves on the back for a job well done. We’ll update you as we move forward, but let me say thanks to all who helped from individuals to media outlets to fellow activist groups. You all are responsible for what will surely be an education on who we are and how we behave as a user group. In fact, I’m already learning things about myself: namely, that I’m an insensitive prick.

Okay, so I knew that already. But thanks to Robbie “G-Nutz” Gennet for the reminder. RG’s a keyboard-player, music writer, Huff Po blogger and rabid sponger who expressed some disappointment with the tone of our questions, which seemed to assume everyone who rides waves does so standing up on foam and fiberglass. I understand the feeling. I used to be the only dad in the local “Mommy and Me” group where I frequently received pre-fab written invites to “bring my hubby” to parties and questionnaires asking me to describe “what responsibilities the father handled” and whether “breast feeding left my nipples sore.“ It was almost enough to make me tear off my apron and cancel my Rachel Ray subscription. But I persevered because it was good for my son.

Likewise, Robbie still completed his survey because it was good for bodyboarders. He recognized that wave-riders can only win these fights by working together as single ‘user group.’ That the enemy isn’t a “sea sweeper” or “goat boater" — or even a “butt wiggler" or "wigglestick.’ (That's what spongers call surfers, according to my speed bump buddy Ryan Rhodes — pictured above thanks to Mickey "2M" McCarthy). It’s companies and people who sees the ocean as a financial resource to exploit or covet at the expense of others. In other words, he understands what I was talking about almost a year go when I wrote the piece that first spawned Surf-First. Probably better than I do.

See below for our full back-and-forth. And thanks, Robbie, for both the reality check and encouraging fellow spongers to finally stand up — at least when it comes to defending all of our rights.

-----Original Message-----
From: RG
Subject: re: Surf survey
Hey there~ I took your survey and as a waverider and ocean lover, I was happy to contribute to your study. However, as a bodyboarder, I was incensed at your slant toward standup surfing & surfboards, which is a pervasive slant on most wave report websites.

Bodyboarding is a global sport with contests, stars of its own, magazines and tons of devotees. We go surf our favorite breaks, support their local economies and buy all the merchandise in the mags, from wetsuits to surfwear, sunglasses to shoes, and still there is this kind of social apartheid that we are separate and unequal.

This has to stop; the ocean we love needs us to band together and help her be healthy and survive. From global warming we'll get rising seas and every wave we know will be altered beyond recognition; an imaginary hierarchy where stand-up surfing rules all does nothing but stroke egos and marginalize your brothers of the ocean. Include bodysurfers, skimboarders, kitesurfers and yes, even stand-up paddleboarders and we can all be a powerful force to protect the resource we all depend on for the activity we love.

Thanks
RG

-----Original Message-----

From: Walker, Matt
Subject: RE: Surf survey

first rg: thank you for taking the survey; your input is crucial to its accuracy and success
second: allow me to apologize for the 'institutional prejudice'. we do put 'bodyboarders' on the first page, but i'm sure the survey still suffers from slanted phrasing (stuff i may not even notice)

if we get another chance at doing it, i'll got through and try to make it more balanced. and at the risk at sounding even more 'insensitive': some of my best friends are spongers

thanks again for your help
much, much appreciated
matt

-----Original Message-----
From: RG
Subject: Re: Surf survey

Hey there Matt~ awesome to hear from you, thanks for the reply; I am interested to see how the results of the survey turn out. I actually had written a slightly longer piece which I encapsulated in my letter to you. I buy your mag often on newsstands, usually when going on a plane somewhere, and dig your coverage of all things surfing, though I realize there is still an anti-bodyboarding pulse among surfers out there, which is a shame. Wish there was a cool article where some bodyboarders and surfers got together, rode waves, maybe did some humanitarian goodness out there too~ Mike Stewart and Kelly Slater head to head on a sick Tahitian slab? A boosting contest with Jeff Hubbard and Dane Reynolds? Something to show people having fun regardless of the board they ride.

We need less enemies, and all the friends we can get. I respect Surfing mag and knowing some of your best friends are spongers is a heartening fact (though I think we are called "dick-draggers" nowadays, which is only unfortunate for the ladies of bodyboarding). I'm sure you can understand that as a bodyboarder, checking Surfline (or Wetsand or Swellwatch etc) and seeing our sport practically ignored is rough. All our US pro riders could use the industry support and sponsorship that stand up surfers get but they all struggle here; in Australia, Brazil and the rest of the world, they are well regarded and taken care of. It's a shame to see but it doesn't have to be that way. Aside from different boards, every company that advertises in Surfing mag appeals to bodyboarders. And yet, Bodyboarding Magazine struggles for support and advertising sponsors. It doesn't have to be that way. Some feel that the Surfing Industry doesn't want bodyboarding to gain market share amongst new wave riders, perhaps after seeing what Snowboarding did to Skiing. Bodyboarding is easier to "get" at first but is in no way a "stepping stone" to standing up, as it's made out to be by stand up surfers. Both sports can and do coexist well.

I know that erasing the social boundaries between surfers and bodyboarders can only benefit our common causes. Joining further with other ocean-related organizations (scuba, etc) can only make us a stronger and more effective force. We all love the ocean and for her sake, I hope we all can not just get along but really unite.

Anyhow, whatever the cause, whatever the history, all divides among waveriders need to be put aside for the Ocean, who needs us all united and out in force.

Off to surf waist high waves with a smile...

Robbie "G-Nutz" Gennet

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE: DOI public comment on offshore energy ends Sept. 21

2009-09-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

Four days.That’s all you got to let the feds now how you feel about offshore energy. Do you want oil or wind? Solar or hydrokinetics? It’s all up for grabs along with a shitload of leases. One thing we can say as surfers: with a "blowout” in the Timor Sea off of Australia gushing oil for the past three weeks –and expected to gush for two more to the tune of an estimated 5800 square miles (the size of Connecticut and Rhode Island combined ) and 150,000 gallons (that’s more than half the amount of the Valdez spill) — from “state of the art” technology built and installed in 2007 and 2008, the cries that we can drill ”cleaner and safer” are starting to sound like more slick promises. (And that’s without a hurricane or major storm.) And with every coastal state earning more from clean beaches than they ever will from Big Oil – and green industry producing three time the jobs per dollar as petroleum — there’s not much economic motivation unless you’re paycheck says Exxon/Mobil. But we won’t tell you how to think. Do the research yourself. But do it quick. Just remember, once you climb into bed with “big oil”, you’re married forever.

Submit your public comment by September 21.

For an aerial image of the Aussie spill, click here.

ONE DOLLAR OF EVERY EIGHT-BALL GOES TO DRUG-USE AWARENESS AND PREVENTION

2009-09-09T13:12:00.000-07:00

Just kidding. But can you imagine any politician making such an illogical promise? Well, they will if it meets our oil addiction. One of the main arguments toward allowing offshore drilling is states can use the proceeds to encourage environmental education and preserve habitats.

According to the Tampa Tribune Florida state legislator Dean Cannon “wants to channel revenue from drilling into renewable energy initiatives and environmental programs such as the Florida Forever land conservation program. Beach restoration and even public education could also benefit.”

So, this guy’s suggesting we risk a two-month spill like the one in Australia — with 2008 rigs, by the way (so much for newer, cleaner technology) — and actively pump toxic, cadmium- and mercury-laden "drilling muds" into the water while encouraging global warming, all to help save the planet?

He must be high, right? Nope just greedy. The story continues: “Florida Energy Associates, which is bankrolling much of the push for drilling in state waters . . . has contributed $20,000 to the state Democratic Party and $35,000 to the state GOP.”

Just goes to show whether it’s oil, cash or power, our entire political system’s full of junkies who'll do anything for a fix.

Stage your own intervention by submitting public comment to the DOI by Sept. 21 And for the best quote yet on this doped-up idea, check the following TC Palm column, which notes: "Florida Energy Associates touts polls claiming that most Floridians support drilling 'if it doesn't harm the environment.' In the same way, I suppose, most of us would support cigarettes that don't make people sick, pies than don't make us fat and texting-while-driving that doesn't cause wrecks."

DON’T GET WORKED: Take the Surf-First survey by Labor Day – or leave your homebreak unprotected

2009-09-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

Work is good. But some work is better than others. And we can think of no better way to honor Labor Day than spending 20 minutes describing your wave-riding habits to help all surfers defend their breaks in years to come.

But you better do it fast. Next Monday’s holiday not only signifies the end of summer — it’s the official cut-off for the Surf-First survey. (Actually, in the spirit of surfing slackness we’ll give you to midnight Tuesday.) At that point we’ll stop gathering info and start crunching the data. Our goal? To better depict how the average American surfer spends their lives — and cash — on a spot-by-spot basis in hopes of keeping every US break clean and accessible forever. We’re even going to put that info live online, state-by-state, so anyone, anywhere, can arm themselves to meet any fight head on. And in case you think such fights are rare — or the info unnecessary — just check out New Smyrna where there’s an effort to extend Ponce Inlet, potentially wrecking one of Florida’s most popular breaks where surfers generate more than $6 million each year.

Every single one of us could one day face a similar issue. Whether we have the hard data and dollar signs to convince decision-makers to seriously surfers’ interests and impact depends on whether you take the survey (assuming you haven’t already). And with two tropical swells back east, and two weeks of surf out west right now’s the best time to do your part. Because as of midnight on Tuesday, the next stage of our job begins. And you’ll have one less opportunity to stand up for your homebreak.

Thanks to Matt Lusk for the Danny shot from S-Turns, another spot surfers could find themselves pushed off without proper representation.

EXTRA CREDIT FOR WILLING WORKERS! Are you an economics major with a passion for surfing? Or a surfing major with a passion for studying economics? Read the info below to find out how to spend this fall working on the Surf-First Economics project and apply by Oct. 2. As a paid intern, you’ll earn college credit, make some cash yourself — and most importantly — help produce the first comprehensive surfing survey of its kind. One that stands to help fellow surfers from years to come.

Surfrider Foundation/ Surf First
Surf Economics Internship
Fall 2009

The Surfrider Foundation and Surfing Magazine seek an undergraduate or graduate student for an internship to work at the Surfrider Foundation on the Surf First surf economics project. The project will include analyzing recreational and economic survey data from surfing areas around the United States to develop state-level profiles of recreational uses and economic impacts of surfing.

Surf Economics:
Surfing is a major recreational and economic activity at diverse coastal environments throughout the United States. The rising popularity of surfing in the United States and significant growth in participation has increased the economic contribution of surfing to local communities. Despite the popularity of surfing, it is often challenging for the sport to be taken seriously in coastal management decisions. Surfing and surfers are very sensitive to environmental conditions and changes in these conditions can negatively impact surfing. At present there is little research on the value of recreational surfing. It is estimated that over three million people surf on a regular basis in the US and surfers are in the ocean more than any other ocean user group. To make informed decisions, coastal professionals require information about surfers and how they will be affected by coastal policies and activities. In recent years, there has been an increase in research on the economics and management of surfing.

In a collaborative effort, the Surf First surf survey – the first national survey of its kind -- was developed to capture socioeconomic and recreational use information about surfers. The survey ran for approximately one year. This internship will help analyze the survey data to develop demographic and economic profiles for surfers from around the US.

You can learn more about this project and surf economics at:
Surf-First.org
surfeconomics.blogspot.com

Preferred education & experience:
Must currently be in enrolled in an undergraduate or graduate school program.
Proven ability to use Microsoft Excel to manipulate large data sets
Knowledge of natural resource economics
Stata experience a plus
Demonstrated ability to communicate effectively, both orally and in writing

Start Time: Flexible, Fall 2009
Duration: 12 week minimum / full time
Pay: $3500
Location: San Clemente, CA

Please send/email a short cover letter and resume to:

Chad Nelsen
Surfrider Foundation
P.O. Box 6010
San Clemente, CA 92674
Ph: (800) 743-SURF
cnelsen@surfrider.org
Email preferred. Please title resume and cover letter documents using this convention: lastname_resume.doc & lastname_cover.doc

Applications due October 2nd, 2009

The Surfrider Foundation is a 501(c)3 organization dedicated to the protection and enjoyment of the world’s ocean, waves and beaches through conservation, activism, research and education. For more info on Surfrider visit: www.surfrider.org

A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH: White House seeks your input on new ‘Ocean Task Force”

2009-08-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

One of the effects of constantly shooting your mouth off to “the powers that be” is they immediately start firing crap back in hopes of plugging your hole.

Back in April, when they were scheduling the public rallies on offshore energy, frequent whining weasled me on to the Department of Interior’s mail list, meaning now I get frequent press releases, usually pumping up “big steps forward” and “united visions” — the government equivalent of “acting busy” before the boss can yell at you.

This latest one discusses Obama’s “Interagency Task Force on Ocean Policy,” to better “meet our Nation’s stewardship responsibilities for the oceans, coasts and Great Lakes” but -- instead of stopping there -- it actually asks for “input from interested communities, governments, tribes, businesses, associations, non-governmental organizations and from the general public.” We’re pretty sure that “tribes” means “surfers” – possibly even spongers and kayakers, too. Don’t worry: they’re not asking you to enlist in secret paramilitary operations to defend the Pacific and Atlantic; just give them some public outcry ammo to justify protecting our coasts.

So, read the full release below. And once you stop feeling all flattered and empowered over being asked to construct domestic policy with the POTUS, make sure to hit the link and fire off any and all concerns from water quality to the coastal zoning. And, if writing in complete sentences sounds like too much work, just go to Surf-First.org and fill the survey after your next session. (We’re pretty sure that’s where Barack got this whole ‘ocean task force’ idea to begin with.)

In order to better meet our Nation’s stewardship responsibilities for the oceans, coasts and Great Lakes, President Obama created an Interagency Task Force on Ocean Policy on June 12, 2009.

The Task Force is led by the Chair of the White House Council on Environmental Quality and the other members are composed of senior-level officials from the agencies, departments and offices on the existing Committee on Ocean Policy. (See attached). The Task Force has been instructed to provide its recommendations in 90 days for the first three issue areas and 120 days for the last.

The Task Force seeks input on its work from interested communities, governments, tribes, businesses, associations, non-governmental organizations and from the general public. If you would like to provide comments, please click here.

We ask that you focus your comments on the issues set forth in the President’s Memorandum:

· National policy for oceans and for coastal and Great Lakes ecosystems;
· Ocean governance framework;
· Implementation Strategy to meet the objectives of the national policy; and
· Coastal and marine spatial planning.

In addition, please feel free to include information about the impact of significant emerging issues on your area of expertise or concern, like climate change or offshore renewable energy development; on jobs and the economics of your business or activity; and any experience you have with current policies and programs—with an emphasis on specific suggestions for improvement where possible.

Please note, that to meet the ambitious timeframe outlined in the President’s Memorandum, the Task Force will build upon the work of the U.S. Commission on Ocean Policy and the Pew Oceans Commission. These reports, appendices and the extensive public engagement and records will serve as important foundations for the work of the Ocean Policy Task Force.

PUT LAST WEEK’S SESSIONS TO WORK FOR TOMORROW: You surfed your favorite spots for days on end – make sure you surf them the rest of your life

2009-07-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

Arms finally rested-up? Good. You’re gonna need ‘em to to fill out our survey.

Last week was big for US surfers. Four days of fun waves from Miami to Montauk. Twice that in size and duration for most of the West Coast. Do the math and you get tens of thousands of surfers scoring even more sessions across tons of surf spots. Now the time’s come to convert those numbers into hard data to make sure every break stays safe in terms of access and water quality down the road.

If you don’t think those are important issues -- if you think your spot’s automatically protected -- consider the fact that miles of beach still remain closed around Hatteras due to questionable environmental science. That Santa Barbara is in danger of juggling more tar balls. Or look at the latest water quality report which shows just how dirty some of our favorite beaches are. The only way to protect surfers’ interests in such issues is to show them who we are and how we impact these various spots and their surrounding beach towns and economies. It’s also the first step in a battle against existing injustices like board charges and beach badges.

So, while your arms and memories are fresh, please fill out the Surf-First Survey. (Assuming you haven’t already.) We only have until the end of summer before we’ll crunch numbers – and we can only crunch the numbers we have. So if you want to make sure your break’s protected, you better stand-up for it yourself.

Thanks To Mickey McCarthy for this Outer Banks lineup, where last week's crowd alone should add at least a few hundred surveys.

NOT STOKED: Cartoon Network kills surfing– those bastards!

2009-07-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

My dad never let me watch Laverne & Shirley. Not once.

Wonder Woman? Of course. But strictly for educational purposes. (So star-spangled, so fully figured —she was like Sex-Ed meets Civics class.)

Davey & Goliath? Sure. What harm could come from spending each Sunday with a talking dog and a sexually repressed religious fanatic? (To his credit, it had been at least two years since former cult member David Berkowitz -- aka Son of Sam -- killed six New Yorkers because his neighbor’s Labrador retriever, Harvey, told him to.)

But for some reason the prospect that his seven-year-old son might grow-up to imitate two bumbling beer factory workers, or their partially retarded neighbors, was too risky. And though it worked — sort of, I still pledged a fraternity — I’ve never recovered. And I’ve avoided that same impulse to kill my first-grader’s television over something like hardcore silliness.

‘Til now.

Enter Stoked. The Cartoon Network’s new series (airing Thursday night), which follows six wacky ‘groms’ — their emphasis, not mine, and boy do they emphasize — with summer jobs at an idyllic, surfing paradise called — wait for it —Surfer’s Paradise.

It don’t take Nostradamus to forecast this one, but think North Shore meets Scooby Doo. Except the mystery is how to surf all summer long. And the forces of evil ain’t a mask-wearing amusement park operator, Lance Burkhardt or Vince from Da Hui — it’s the writers and producers. Not only do these thugs pound the sport of kings, they riddle it with bulletholes, making swiss cheese of our sub-culture in mere seconds with a staccato assault of stolen lingo, cliche dialogue and, of course, heaps of bad stereotypes.

There’s a black guy called Johnny who not only can’t surf, he doesn’t even get a cool name. (Sorry, Buttons). A mix of Machado and Spicoli named ‘’Broseph.’ (Et tu, Transworld?) And of course, the mandatory soulful, goateed old dude who claims “I’m the Kahuna.” No, you’re the douchebag. (Or at best, a kook)

And let’s not forget the pair of matching his-and-her shredders named ‘Reef’ and ‘Rip” ala Kelly and Lisa — except they say the girl might surf better. (A thought guaranteed to keep both genders giggling — but for different reasons.) One Keala-be. One baby Rell. Plus a 16-year-old, pro-ho-in-making, Emma, who, according to her bio: “totally loses it around guys she crushes on” and “can’t surf, but is determined to rip [her clothes off, maybe?] by the end of summer.”

And, as if TV ain’t brain-melting enough, they also manage to undo a whole year’s worth of schoolwork, from math — “Gromfest starts in 12 weeks and three days!” Don’t you mean 3.1 months? Reduce, dammit! — to my personal pet peeve: pronunciation.

For the record — in case some Malibu SUPper’s butchering a script as we speak — the emphasis in ‘double overhead” is on HEAD – not ‘over.’ (Blue Crush made the same offense repeatedly.) Seems trite, but it‘s annoying — and telling. Like hearing some Ivy Leaguer say “TEE-vee” instead of “tee-VEE” — your degree may boast “Brown” but your diction screams “Rube.”

Even geography and physics take a hit, as Surfer’s Paradise promises “dozens of point breaks.” That’s right: DOZENS. As in at least 24. All in a single resort. (Take that, Typhoon Lagoon.)

Actually, it’s too bad Disney wasn’t involved — as in Walt Disney. Back before they froze the animation genius somewhere inside Mickey Mouse’s colon, it took three years to finish a cartoon. At that rate, we’d only have to suffer through these shenanigans a couple times each decade. (The modern difference between most mainstream two-dimensional surf tales – say Blue Juice and In Gods Hands. ) Unfortunately, these days, a factory full of ink-pen wielding South Koreans can unleash Point Break-like damage every single week. All summer long.

Think of the kids! Now, scores of teens, tweens and ne’er-beens — I can already see pregnant Roxy chicks pressing their wombs to the screen in 30 minute increments — are gonna come away with an unattainable image of surfing. Dreaming of impossible moves like “Air 3600s’ and one-armed hand stands. Of double-over-HEAD waves “almost every day.” Not to mention “miles and miles of uncrowded beaches.” (Not if this show takes off.)

And perhaps that’s the real root of my disdain — not fear for our children but hatred of them. The same anti-outsider, anti-crowd, localist mentality that penetrated my psyche milliseconds after I first stood up. At an age not too far after dad dictated my viewing habits. An age, not too far from where my son is now.

Or maybe, I worry — again, selfishly — that his impressionable young brain will process this tripe and stick to his boogie board. Or worse, he’ll get turned off riding waves completely and continue on his current path of Star Wars, Bakugan and Ben 10, a slippery path that’ll have him rolling 20-sided dice and hoarding hit points into his thirties.

More likely the problem is even more narcissistic. That surfing might not just change in theory and image, but in reality. My reality. A phobia that only gets worse with each year, as fresh new blood enters the water, while I get grayer, slower, balder and hairier.

Truth is, if the cast of Stoked is steering ‘The Mystery Machine”, I’m Old Man Mr. Withers getting left in the dust. They’re the fun-loving bunch racing off in the future; I’m the cranky bastard shaking my fist, and screaming ”meddling kids!” — while secretly hoping they drive off a cliff. Except maybe one.

On that note, I better run: it’s time for the boy’s mandatory double-feature of Surf’s Up — and Fast Times.

Wanna keep surfing real? Fill out the Surf-First.org survey to help us dispel stereotypes and – most importantly – protect US surf spots for years to come.

COMFORT ZONES: Seeking middle ground between accessing Cape Hatteras and stopping oil rigs offshore

2009-07-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

“I’ve started calling this place Hate-eras.”

So longtime local, underwater lensman, and former Lighthouse strongman Russell Blackwood told me this spring. He’s right. Over the past couple years, the rift between the native population and the environmental groups pushing to restrict beach access on Hatteras has bubbled from angry undercurrent into a lava flow of boiling bile and flaming outrage, highlighting an internal fissure that seems fixin’ to blow before summer ends.

There’s plenty of reasons: the economy’s already bad enough without giving tourists a reason to stay home; the closures seem to only be growing in size and scope, applying to non-threatened species and swallowing more key ramps beloved by fishermen and surfers alike; the continued false positioning of the issue as ‘beach driving’ when pedestrian access can be equally limited. And then there’s specific examples of pretzel logic, like when a kiteboarder accidentally got stranded in a no-access zone, earning a $150 ticket from a passing ranger -- but not a free ride. (Instead, they left the offender to stomp his way out of the sensitive area.) Or when a waterline broke to Hatteras Village and there was a push to not to repair it, as if a plover can tell a plumber from a PhD. Or just the sheer brute force of the consent decree, as the consequences for a sign vandalized by a lone individual is to club the whole population with harsher restrictions — the policy equivalent of that corny t-shirt slogan, “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.”

You can read the ups and downs of each closure and issue at IslandFreePress.org and PreserveBeachAccess.org. But mostly, I think it all comes back to an inherent cultural disdain -- not just a rural south disdain but an American disdain -- for outside forces telling an indigenous population how to behave. I feel similarly about this offshore drilling agenda, which allows interior states to say “go get ‘em fellas” without feeling or even considering the negative impacts, when I guarantee they’d be the first to cry foul if a potential polluter was moving into their neighborhoods and threatening their way of life.

Now, recently -- especially since I took a role as co-chair of Outer Banks Surfrider – I’ve been called out for being hypocritical. Folks questioning how can I be against offshore drilling and for beach driving when both end up putting more petroleum on the beach. I’ll leave a recent email response below to answer that question, but I think you’ll find it’s more nuanced than a black-and-white, “preserve or pollute” approach. (Ditto for the rigs: if the goal is really to make America ‘energy independent’, then Big Oil should stop fighting renewable energies and legislation that will cut our consumption, and work toward putting us within striking distance of that goal — then maybe we’ll talk about ‘bridging the gap’ with greater exploration.) In either case, you’ll also see it’s a much more pulled-back position than fighting for what “I” want, versus what “they” I want. It’s about finding a compromised position that serves everybody. Not just the people, animals and communities living here now — but moving forward, as well.

It would be nice to see all the parties in this access issue stifle the hate a bit and work toward a long-term solution that preserves the park for all uses. Maybe that’s naïve, but let me use the above-mentioned Mr. Blackwood as an example of former radicals undergoing radical change. For many years, Russell was the most feared monster to lurk in the shadow of the Lighthouse. As he says, “I was an angry man and I’m sure there are plenty of people who’ve wished all sorts of ill will on me, and likely still do.” But somewhere, along the way, he realized that spewing hate and anger and forcing your will upon others can only fuel more nasty feelings and dischord. I’m not sure when that happened — I do know it was long after he barked me back to the beach at the tender age of 13 on one of my first, and better barreling days beneath that black-and-white striped beacon — but I still remember, and use, the explanation he dropped in a phone call roughly a dozen years back: “I learned a long time ago that it’s easier to wear slippers than it is to carpet the world.”

I’ve still yet to understand what any of the involved hardliners have to gain from closing the beach or destroying a nest, but I’d hope they’d that moving forward, they can kill the ‘my way or the highway’ carpet approach, and maybe try on some more flexible slippers. Now here’s that e-response to show what mine look like and why I wear’ em:

“Got your email about the beach driving issue and whether it's a hypocritical stance -- especially considering our current campaign against oil drilling.
None of these issues are ever black and white, but let me try to explain. I'll start with the 'official Surfrider stances.'

No drilling: pretty self-explanatory. It's bad for the environment. It's bad for surf spots. Pretty easy to see why Surfrider is diametrically opposed.

Beach driving in Hatteras (not the best way to describe it since the current situation limits pedestrian access as well, but the name's stuck so here goes): “Surfrider's for 'maintaining responsible access.'”

Without getting too specific -- because I don't know how specific nationals gets -- I'd argue that means finding ways to make sure humans can keep accessing the beach without too much negative impact. That could mean any number of ways: driving permits, different boundary solutions, etc. etc. But I think our point there is: let's take the issue from an approach of "how do we keep people enjoying these resources and maintain them ecologically?"

Unfortunately, from my experience, Audubon, Defenders, etc. are approaching from a strict: "how do we keep the most people out?"

That's the tack that the chapter -- and me, personally -- have the most problem with. And it basically comes down to a pulled back perspective: if humans can't access a resource, they will stop trying to protect it. At that point, the resource is in even greater danger.

I spoke at two of the Neg Reg meetings last year, and my primary points were: a) birds/turtles can't hold protest signs and write elected officials b) fishermen/surfers, etc. are some of the beaches greatest stewards, we should be using them to protect species and not alienate them c) if we alienate them, they will not fight with us when a huge issue comes like offshore drilling (ironically, I made that argument in May -- months before the federal moratorium was lifted) d) give this place a generation or two without access, and it will be easy pickings for developers/drillers/you name it.

I wish I could go on to list just how many way the above groups have pushed back the environmental movement among user groups that should be most eco-friendly, but it seems every time I turn around, there's an example of double standards that only add to the level of distrust. This summer a kiteboarder got beached in an 'off-limits' area; a park ranger wrote him a $150 ticket -- then left him to walk out instead of removing him from the habitat as quickly as possible. When the water line broke to Hatteras Village, they tried to keep it from being fixed. How is a plumber different from a scientist from the birds' perspective? And why not just escort him in if they're worried about him making a mistake?

And if this is a beach driving issue -- why the insistence on removing so much pedestrian access, as well?

I don't know why they're so hardline. I've had talks where an Audubon rep almost acquiesces to various solutions as being potentially beneficial (driving permits for example) but then reverts to a strict, 'these boundaries are the only thing that works' -- even though 'human contact' accounts for just 12% of the birds' mortality rate. (Keep in mind that 'human contact' includes everything from beach driving to folks bringing their dogs to the beach. So a 'no dogs' rule could end up being just as effective.)

Another interesting note -- while we're talking double standards -- how can a group that says global warming is the planet's greatest threat team up with Toyota -- the largest car co. on the planet? Audubon’s argument is they use the cash for greater education. In their perspective, they'll yield a greater good from that funding than the potential bad of promoting a polluter. I'd argue, that – though there may be localized risks -- maintaining responsible human access to our natural resources fosters an enlightened and active community who will fight for its protection for generations to come.

If it's driving permits -- fine. Hell, I'd even consider a solution like I saw in Uruguay at Cabo Polonio, [[see picture posted above]] where they have large trucks with benches on each side that carry groups to the beach like a bus. What I don't agree with is: "Sorry, you humans can't come anymore." Especially when, from my experience, they aren't using the best data science or intent to make sure they're saving the species they're using to justify the cause. (I've got several specifics on this, as well, but don't want to bore you.)

There is a solution here. The problem is, the respective parties -- in some cases on both sides -- don't seem to want to acquiesce a thing. Unfortunately, with the groups who sued holding such a hardline stance it puts Surfrider in the unenviable position of having to take issue with what should be a supposed ally. What's sadder is the current approach has already probably done more damage then good.”

The NPS must make a final decision by 2011. If you want to encourage them to adopt a balanced resolution toward responsible access on Cape Hatteras, Email the Park. You can also email Governor Beverly Perdue. Please keep your arguments polite and logical, and remind them how important the area is to surfing — and vice-versa.

A FISTFUL OF PROZACS: And a few Xanax more

2009-06-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

That’s what I suggest you take before reading Lives Per Gallon: The True Cost of Our Oil Addiction. Talk about depressing, I’ve barely read one chapter, a prologue and the preface — freshly added in 2009 — from Terry Tammien’s expose on how petroleum damages the health of our planet and ourselves and I already feel the need to lock my medicine chest and hide all the sharp objects. Among the interesting tidbits so far:

Petroleum was listed by the Geneva Protocol on Air Pollution as the largest single source of air pollution worldwide.

Exhaust fumes have all the nasty particles of cigarette smoke (except one); diesel fumes cause 125,000 cancer cases each year and more than 8,000 deaths in So Cal alone (four times than the amount of car crashes.)

In the past 10 years, Americans have added 10 pounds to burn an extra 350 million pounds of jet fuel per year.

That 98% of the world’s plants and animals became extinct before the awn of industrial man.

And that we’re in the middle of the planet’s sixth ‘mass extinction’ that could see half the earth’s plant and animal life by the middle of the century.

That’s just a random sample from at least 50 little passages I’ve starred or squiggled so far. And I’ve still got another six chapters, including one on drilling where I just glanced down to see that “a single exploratory [offshore] well dumps approximately 25,000 pounds of toxic metals….[and] …the USEPA and oil industry agree that more than 1 billion tons are discharged annually…. And that they are entirely unregulated.”

Screw the Ginsus. One more sentence like that, you’ll find me dead in the garage with my car running. But then from what I’ve read about exhaust fumes, I’m already committing suicide just by breathing.

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING: This ISD, celebrate and protect your favorite spot with Surf-First.org

2009-06-18T12:33:00.001-07:00

We can do it one day.This Saturday, as a matter of fact. Better known as International Surfing Day — and even better known as the summer solstice — it’s the date Surfrider, Surfing and their partners set aside to get the whole world to paddle out, make a difference and generally celebrate, display and fully fondle our saline-implanted lives. Well, here’s a way to make sure you can make all that fun count for decades to come: by taking the Surf-First survey before the sun sets.

Granted, with offshore drilling threatening almost every mainland wave at once, we’ve been neglecting some of the more local risks to America’s surf breaks. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. In North Carolina alone, differing interests are pushing to allow sand-stealing jetties and block access across Hatteras Island, while in Wrightsville, there’s a fresh squabble between fisherman and surfers over Johnny Mercier’s Pier. (In Montauk, that squabble never went away.) Long Island and New Jersey are continuing to battle gas terminals. In Texas, a new law could allow private homeowners to rebuild their houses on your public beach. In Delaware, there’s a sewage outfall in the works. And in California, every single state park is in danger of being shut down including that precious Trestles we thought was saved.

That’s just a smattering of fights from this year. And, besides Trestles, not one has the benefit of concrete data of how these issues affect surfers — and vice versa. That’s why it’s never has been more important for our surfing existence and future generations to describe our individual surfing habits — where we surf, what we spend, how often we travel and where — so we can accurately depict just how important America’s unique surf spots are to our economies and way of life. But there’s a much more pressing reason to do it this Saturday than just ISD: because you don’t have much longer to take part.

“We’ve officially budgeted an intern to crunch numbers this fall,” says Surfrider Environmental Director and Surf-First co-founder Chad Nelsen. “So we need as many surveys filled out as possible this summer. We’ve got a good start — more than 2500 — but in order to make this thing as really solid we’d like to see 10,000 surveys or 400 per state. And we need them by Labor Day. Because no matter what, we’re going get the results live online by next Spring.”

That means by this time next year, the first comprehensive study of U.S. surfers —their favorite local spots and travel destinations, economic status and family traditions — will be ready and put into pure numbers for any surfer to access and use in any battle no matter how big or small. But there’s only one way to make sure your state, your town — your very break — reaps the benefits: by taking 20 minutes and taking the survey. And if we all do it on Saturday, by Sunday we could have all we need to forge a new weapon in our fight for surfers’ rights, making sure there are plenty of festive surf holidays to come. Every single day. And that’s something worth celebrating.

If you’ve already taken the survey, consider yours work done. But why not regift the idea: email your friends to tell them to take part. Remember: nobody’s gonna stand up for your break — but you.

CLEAN BEACHES RANK HIGH: Offshore drilling beaches just plain rank

2009-06-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Add one more thing to the list of traits Andy Irons and I have in common. Besides sick tube-riding skills, a mean frontside cuttie and three world titles — his as ASP champion, mine as “Earth’s Hairiest Human” — both of our homes earned a spot onDr. Beach's Top 10 list for 2009 :

1. Hanalei Bay, Kauai, HI
2. Siesta Beach , Sarasota, FL
3. Coopers Beach, Southampton, NY
4. Coronado Beach, San Diego, CA
5. Hamoa Beach, Maui, HI
6. Main Beach, East Hampton, NY
7. Cape Hatteras, Outer Banks, NC
8. Cape Florida State Park, Key Biscayne, FL
9. Coast Guard Beach, Cape Cod, MA
10. Beachwalker Park, Kiawah Island, SC

Granted, Hanalei Bay placed number one while Cape Hatteras came in at 7. (And, yes, I’m not really a Hatteras local, residing roughly an hour away.) But when you consider the tens of thousands of beaches on the mainland US alone, just living near a spot selected by Dr. Beach — aka Stephen P. Leatherman — is like joining an elite club. (Kind of like almost qualifying for the WCT.) And while Kauai certainly boasts bigger waves, better surfers and meaner sharks, there’s another trait all 10 share: not one has offshore drilling for hundreds of miles. (In fact, the only state with any drilling at all was California). Proof, that when people picture their ideal ocean environment to relax and play in, live and — insert cash register noise here — visit, they don’t just want petroleum way out of sight — but also out of mind.

What’s scary is besides Hawaii, all of those beaches — especially, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, and to some degree New York and California —are threatened by the petroleum industry who are actively working to sacrifice their precious, pristine shores and renewable coastal economies for a paltry return in revenue sharing.

So, again, I suggest that any elected official considering opening their coast, tempted by the promises of extra cash at no extra cost: first visit the places where drilling is ongoing. Compare their beach to yours, then rank the experience for yourselves. And since that ain’t gonna happen, instead of believing what the oil execs and our government tell you about ‘clean drilling’, maybe ask an unbiased Gulf Coast resident what they think of offshore drilling and the onshore infrastructure it requires.

That’s what I did. Last week in Rodanthe at Real Watersports’ Triple S kiteboarding event, Outer Banks Surfrider was seeking signatures for their “Clean Beaches =Healthy Businesses” petition. The people who needed no explanation were those who’d already lived in the shadows of derricks. There was the instructor from Alabama who nearly knocked me over to grab the pen. The tourist from Louisiana who said he grew up driving an extra four hours to Destin, FL to avoid the muck. (There’s something I’d never considered: residents taking their tourist dollars to other beach towns.) And, perhaps most telling, a Houston kiteboarder who actually worked for an oil company and — after some on-site soul-searching — finally signed. Why? For the same reason she’d rather fly to Hatteras than drive to her closest body of water. Because in — her words — “Galveston’s the biggest shithole.”

Not quite like being named one of “America’s Best Beaches,” but I guess it’s a title.

BRACE YOURSELVES! 2009 Hurricane Season Starts June 1. (2009 Hurricane Hype Already Active.)

2009-05-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The snarky sub-head is in no way meant to diminish the danger of tropical systems. If nothing else, being prepared early saves money and time if you find yourself in the crosshairs of a Katrina, Wilma or just a [yawn] Erin (the cute little cat one that somehow still managed to condemn my apartment in 1995). So go ahead and cut your plywood, fill the water jugs and stock up on double D batteries for the radio (or any other appliances you and the old lady might find handy if you’re locked in doors for a couple weeks without power). Then sit back and watch the tidal surge of SCARY HYPE spew forth from talking heads on every network from The Weather Channel to TMZ as they try to predict the most unpredictable weather systems on the planet.

Of course, these days, we don’t have ‘psychic friend networks’ – we have psychic friend ‘experts.’ Plural. Once the sole domain of Dr. William Gray’s climate team at Colorado State, it seems everyone wants a piece of the tropical season prediction biz: Accuweather, (13 named storms and eight hurricanes), WSI Corp (13 named storms, seven hurricanes) and the Weather Research Center (seven named storms, four hurricanes). Even NOAA – those noble scientific stewards that once only discussed a storm’s future in the vaguest of details (aka what it MIGHT do within hundreds of miles over the next 12 to 120 hours) has decided to go all Nostradamus on us, unveiling their own long term forecast. (Their call? Fourteen named storms, 4 to 7 becoming hurricanes, 1 to 3 of which will be major Cat 3s or more. )

Nevermind, that all the services pull from the same data and global patterns that CSU does. (Which explains why they all sound so similar.) Or that even after two decades, Gray’s team almost always gets it wrong. (2005 had 28 tropical and subtropical storms; they predicted 15.) Or that not one of these tropical tarot-readers saw that the first depression of 2009 would develop on May 27 around noon. (The type of specific info that might be useful for more than driving ratings and Home Depot sales.) If you print some hurricane hype (tip: use the phrase ‘period of heightened activity’), they will come.

So, since everyone else is doing it, here’s what’s swirling inside my 2009 Tropical Crystal Ball:

1. 88% of the swells won’t live up to their hype.
2. Every surf media outlet will use the headline “Happy Hollow-Days” at least once.
3. TWC’s Jim Cantore will continue his Gollum-like, physical transformation into CBS’s Paul Shaffer.
4. Somebody in the Mid-Atlantic’s gonna get creamed

I’m dead serious about the last one. How do I know? Like everyone else: a little voodoo, a little science – my broken wrist is starting to ache – and a touch of past experience. Last year saw barreling bounty like no season since 1995—arguably the best year ever for surf — when Felix did a two-week tango, kicking off a conga line of five storms in August alone, including a rare Fujiwara square dance by Humberto and Iris. One season later in 1996, Southern NC got smashed by Cat 2 Bertha and Cat 3 Fran within two months of each other. So, considering how sick the surf was in 2008, 2009’s corresponding beating must be somewhat solid.

Of course, I could be wrong. But as I said, better to be prepared than impaled by flying debris. And if we don’t get solid waves or an evacuation to keep you busy, guaranteed you’ll be entertained by all the weathermen getting blown away. Now that’s storm coverage you can trust.

While you’re staying glued to your fancy weather predicting machine, don’t just worry about the swell’s behavior, make sure you know what the storm’s doing, too. Two obvious picks: NOAA. (Every 12 hours, 5am and 5pm, they turn real data into a projected path). Shortly after, Dr. Jeff Masters Wunderblog will distill all that fancy scientific talk into clear, believable, terms.

TICK...TICK...TICK: Offshore or on, the push for more petroleum is a coastal timebomb

2009-05-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

Lots of times, I struggle with what to complain about each week.(Just check my lame-ass "Moby Dick" post below.) But usually, all I have to do is check the news every few days and I'll find a reason to spew over the push for expanding oil production off our coast. This morning, I woke up to the following bombshell, Fireball lights up oil refinery on Delaware River.

Nobody knows what caused it, but apparently "New Castle County, Del., county councilman John Cartier said he could see the flames from his home at least three miles from the refinery. 'It was almost like seismic,' he told The (Wilmington) News Journal. 'My house was rocked. It was a big large boom.'"

Granted, this isn't from a rig per se, but one of the dirty little secrets behind pushing for more petroleum offshore, is that once they find it they need to bring it in, which leads to an industrialization of the coastline -- bringing potential hazards from miles offshore right to peoples' doorsteps. Furthermore, research -- and the law of averages -- shows that increased production means increased risk of accidents. And apparently, this "refinery sits on a 781-acre site along an international seaport, and it operates around the clock seven days a week with about 700 employees." (Insert 'tick...tick...tick..." noise here.)

So, while our local 24-7 tourism enterprises employ about 10 times that with the greatest of hazards likely being a spilled drink, burned steak or drunken asshole, pushing petroleum means bringing a time bomb to our shores while making rural coastline look -- in the words of UNC researcher Pete Peterson -- " more like northern New Jersey.”

(In the case of Delaware, Chicago circa 1871 or San Francisco 1906 sounds like more accurate comparisons.)

Fired up? Good. Write a letter to your elected officials. Then, burn some more energy by taking the surf-first survey after your next session (assuming you haven't already.)

MOBY DICKS: Offshore oil is also animal cruelty

2009-05-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

You better pray God ain’t a whale. Otherwise humans are in for a helluva payback. In fact, all you need to do is see the Danish club pilot whales, and you realize we’ve got a long way to go toward becoming humane. And since I’ve blogged most recently (all though not that recently) about the economic folly of pursuing offshore oil and gas, I figured maybe it as time to point out the ethical folly, as in: how fast humans become animal-abusing dicks just to serve our own shallow needs.

In the case of offshore oil and gas exploration, we’ll literally torture our biggest, bestest ocean mammal buddies in search just a few months supply, as the ‘seismic guns’ used to find pockets of petroleum literally bursts whales eardrums, causing death and disorientation and other problems way beyond learning to sign with simple pair of fins. In fact, here’s just a few gnarly courtesy of Greenpeace :

* Seismic explosions typically reach 260 decibels but scientists believe marine mammals are injured by volumes higher than 180 decibels.

* In the last year, whale deaths believed to be related to noise pollution have occurred off of Baja California, the Canary Islands, and the San Juan Islands.

*Physical impacts of seismic survey noise on marine mammals are believed to include auditory masking or confusion, temporary hearing loss, brain hemorrhage and even death.

In other words, this is way worse than cutting a cat’s whiskers or giving a dog peanut butter (not that I know much about either). Even more troubling, it’s only been about 70 years since whales stopped being tortured in way worse ways by American industry. Not torture like sleep deprivation or cramped boxes or even ‘waterboarding’ . But as in harpooning, jabbing, and ultimately beheading and skinning. (Take that, Talban.) And then there’s the death itself, as described in the following passage from Moby Dick:

“The red tide now poured form all sides of the monster like brooks down a hill. His tormented body rolled not in brine, but in blood, which bubbled and seethed for furlongs behind their wake. . .And all the while, jet after jet of white smoke agonizingly shot from the spiracle of the whale,...Stubb slowly churned his long sharp lance into the fish and kept it there.. And now, the whale once more rolled out into view . . .spasmodically dilating and contracting his spouthole, with sharp agonized respirations. At last, gush after gush of clotted red gore…shot into the frighted air and falling back again, ran dripping down his motionless flanks into the sea. His heart had burst!”

So what were these 19th century Nantuckers after? Meat. Nope. Sperm? Somewhat. But mostly, they too wanted oil. Not to burn in cars, but in lamps, killing thousands upon thousands to meet the world’s energy needs. Better hope when we hit the pearly gates we don’t see Shamu instead of St. Peter, or else it’ll be our turn to burn. (Better have a bucket of fish handy just in case.)

SAVED BY THE BELL?: How syndicated TV can bring offshore oil to a ‘screeching’ halt

2009-05-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

What’s scarier than taking lessons from third-world countries ? Taking lessons from syndicated TV.

Right now, Ecuador’s indigenous Amazon tribes are suing Chevron because of pollution left behind from decades of drilling. To be fair, that drilling was done by Texaco, which Chevron later acquired – becoming America’s third largest company in the process. But even if the oil execs aren’t taking ownership of the damage, they’re sure taking ownership of the fight by playing some serious hardball. Just like Exxon spent huge amounts and 20 years battling the Valdez decision, Chevron would rather buy slanderous ads in Ecuadorian papers before they’ll pay the $27 billion in damages for polluting the Amazon rainforest and local drinking water. Lesson here? Once you let the oil companies in, promises of clean drilling and “we’re your pal” vanish like exhaust fumes behind a gluttonous SUV.

But what’s more insane is how often this debate resurfaces in 20 year cycles – much like America’s other great source of pollution: syndicated TV. And you need no greater example than Kelly, Zack, Mr. Belding and the rest of the cast of that insanely goofball high school series "Saved by the Bell,” which took up the cause on October 21, 1991.

According to the summary, “When oil is discovered on the property after digging for a new guard post, an oil company arrives to destroy the pond to drill for the oil.” (Keep in mind, this was just 18 months after the Valdez spilled 10.8 million gallons of oil – the largest environmental disaster in US history — so America was still enjoying a silly cultural backlash of oil-hating hysteria.)

Now, I know I used high school cliques as a metaphor for coastal activism just two weeks ago, but I didn’t expect the Dalai Lama of losers – the holy Screech himself – to come to my rescue via boob-tube time machine. Even more surprising? Some of the perspectives were — and remain — surprisingly valid.

Check out this conversation:

Jessie: Because of your oil spills, we put 20 dead animals back into the ground.
Mr. Phelps: Well I'm sorry, that was an accident and we did get that cleaned up.
Lisa: Yeah but can you guarantee it won't happen again?
Mr. Phelps: Well no...
Zack: So what happens if there's another accident? Will it look like this? (squirts oil all over the model of the school, getting some on Mr. Phelps’ shirt)
Mr. Phelps: I'm covered in oil!
Zack: I'm sorry, it was an accident.

Or

Lisa: Nothing survived, the oil's all over the pond.
Mr. Belding: But what can I do?
Screech: What can you do? You're the principal! Aren't you man enough to scare anybody besides the kids?

Of course, with “Jessie” – aka Elizabeth Berkley -- later lapdancing her way through the NC-17 rated “Showgirls’ and “Screech” — aka Dustin Diamond — releasing a sex tape (no ‘diamond tip’ jokes, please), both characters obviously changed their minds about both ‘oil’ and ‘drilling’ over the past 18 years. And so has our sadly short-attention-spanned country. The question is: can the current generation of America’s youth can rise up to ‘save us’ before another Valdez disaster?

Bonus trivia: go to the link to note the mysterious repetition of Slater, Kelly and Lisa as character names; also, the title of the episode is called ‘Pipe Dreams.’

Extra credit to Surfline forecaster Kurt Korte for bringing this little piece of pop culture to my attention. I was in college when this episode originally aired, doing mature college things — like streaking museums and waking up in pools of my own vomit — but apparently this was quite the groundbreaking episode for all the kiddies. For those who missed it the first time around – or just miss it in general — you can even watch it yourself Wednesday, May 6, at 7:30am on TBS. (If you want to know when ‘Showgirls’ is on, you’ll just have to, uh, Google yourself.) Or do something useful for 20 minutes and take the Surf-First survey after your next session.

FIRST THEY CAME FOR FLORIDA, NEXT THEY’LL COME FOR YOU: Sunshine State legislature opens door to oil offshore drilling

2009-04-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

What’d you do this past week? I put together a couple of stories on the Atlantic City offshore oil public hearing to print in mags later this summer. In fact, I literally filed the second one an hour ago. The idea was to rally any cave-dwelling surfers who still don’t go online -- all those bearded Dan-Malloy-Rasta-bes? They’re actually Amish . . .sssshh -- and make sure they bust out the old quill and ink, unleash the carrier pigeons and fire up their elected officials at least as much as the Oil Interests grease them down.

Then , minutes after I pressed send, I got the news that Florida’s state legislature, voted 70 to 43 on a fast-track bill along party lines that allows the governor and Cabinet to open the door to oil drilling off Florida's coast.

“Great oily seabirds, Batman!” I shouted (No, wait, that was Robin.) But I did yell a few fowl words. Then I started to ponder what to do next:

1. Wipe my brow that I no longer live in Florida. (Did that ten years ago.)

2. Start picking which surf spots I’d rather see get ruined. (Sorry, 2nd Light….oh wait, that’s right, a bad beach fill plan took care of that years ago.)

3. Curl up in a ball, suck my thumb and pray it’ll all go away.

Then, as I was grabbing my binkie, I figured I’d better read the story firsthand. That’s when I and came across this piece saying, ”Gov. Charlie Crist and Senate leaders put the brakes on a bill to open the door to near-shore oil drilling off Florida's coast . . .”

Phew! More brow wiping (And a few other less than savory areas.) But we shouldn’t feel heartened, we should feel scared. Terrified, even. First, because right now, this same scenario is playing in every East Coast and Gulf Coast state, as well as California and Alaska.

Second, because Gov. Crist isn’t anti-drilling per se, he just figured allowing a “Drill, baby, drill” free-for-all within 3 to 10 miles of shore at the end of a legislative session, might be a little too . . .hasty. (Wuss.) They could just as easily pick it up again next time.

And most importantly, because, most surfers really do follow those first three steps any time any break is threatened for any reason. First, we say, “thank god, it’s not my spot.” Then we secretly pray if something’s gonna happen, it happens to a break we don’t like. And then we stick our heads in the nearest sandbar.

But we don’t have to. For once, we could see this incident as a real warning sign of what’s to come. We could even act by turning up the heat on our elected officials – and others.

So, Tell Gov. Crist he’s right to be worried and to say no to oil . . . period. Then, do the same for your own State.

And, for those of you still think we should be drilling, go back and read the Florida story to see just how this whole scenario played out. It’s all Texas oilmen, ‘energy freedom seekers,’ and suckers bets like dangling $75 million in ‘clean energy’ kickbacks out of billions in oil revenue— which still pales when you consider Florida’s out-of-state beach tourists spent $19.1 billion in 2003 (equal to 3.8 percent of the gross state product.) They also spent $600 million in states sales tax and created 500,000 jobs.

Do all that math and see if it adds up. Now factor in the 1.8 billion barrels we export daily on our road to ‘energy independence.’ Compare it to the amount of jobs created by renewable energy (3:1 compared to oil.) And then ask yourself: if offshore petroleum is such an easy fit for coastal states – how come their proponents always use so much grease?

Speaking of grease, this whole blog spiel is just a slick way of conning surfers into taking the the Surf-First survey so we can save our breaks down the line. So, if you haven’t yet, please “Fill, baby, fill” after your next session.

FREAKS AND GEEKS: Surfers worship the former – but we should act more like the latter

2009-04-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

I don’t wear pop-bottle glasses. No plastic pocket protector on my chest. And I couldn’t recite the Pythagorean Theorem if you wrote it out fo-net-i-kal-ee. Yet, more and more, I feel like a geek. Mostly, right about the time I leave the latest Surfrider meeting or perform some other form of ‘coastal activism.’

Part of it's the activities themselves. That AC no drilling rally? Lots of suits and old farts (aka three-pieces and hairpieces.) Beach clean-ups? The only thing worse than black socks on sand is plastic gloves. And even if our monthly meetings usually involve cracking beers and talking surf, the idea of sacrificing your free time to do more labor seems inherently dorky, like asking if there’s any homework five minutes before the bell rings on Friday or volunteering to bring the projector -- do they even use projectors these days? -- back to the AV room.

Then there's the whole membership idea. Come join a group to ‘save the planet’ — but do it in itsy, bitsy increments instead of asteroid-smashing strokes of genius. It’s like part lame-ass Justice League, part Chess Team. I flash back to that scene in the Breakfast Club when Anthony Michael Hall defends his physics fetish as something social. (“We discuss physics, properties of physics….we get dressed up, but we don’t get high.”) As Judd Nelson’s character, Bender, says: “They’re social…. demented and sad, but social.”

How true.

But a better indicator may be who I don’t see at meetings. I don’t see the top name pros. Or superstars. Most shop-owners or reps. Or even hardcore Bodhi-like loc-dogs. If we’re to continue the SURFING WORLD HIGH SCHOOL metaphor, those guys would be The A-Crowd. The jocks, hipsters and other cool guys who get all the perks -- like set waves, free gear and hot chicks –- for just being them. They’re also the very people who make their living off surfing and can make time to surf every swell -- but still get surprisingly busy when the time comes to defend the very spots they surf.

Industry dudes are the lowest tier, like the thespians. Self-important, so ‘outside the box’ and independent and non-conformist, even as they wear matching hoodies, jeans ‘footwear’ and ‘eyewear’ – only dorks wear shoes and glasses – but with a slightly different label tilted oh-so-askew. They suffer for their artform—selling shit—but not for much else. (By the way: I rebel by wearing my 'Surfing' tee's backwards.)

Photo sluts are like the Stoner/ Slacker clique. No need to study (compete) or make the grade (be on time). A cool buzz, tasty waves, they’re fine. Definitely don’t get any of those when you’re posting flyers against some toxic polluter (unless it’s huffing fumes off the mimeograph machine.)

And, finally, there’s the Jocks. The semi-pros and seven-figure LeBrons who’ll pimp any product from underpants to cologne to energy drinks for a paycheck but won’t take a few seconds to stop and help us equipment managers carry the water cooler that keeps them from dying on the field.

What about the Trestles rally, you say? That thing was full of reporters and news crews, the eco-equivalent of “Friday Night Lights.’ But a random, dig-and-get-dirty –to-fight-the-man affair? “Sorry, dude, coach says I need to save my energy for the game.”

If you need more proof, consider this: San Francisco’s Public Hearing two Thursdays’ ago drew roughly 300 people; the XXL Big Wave Awards? 2000. If you ask me, more of those guys would be heroes had they taken the tour bus north to SF right after. Maybe pointed out the possibilities for wind and water power in many of these same big venues; said we don’t need oil derricks with 100 miles of Cortes or Mav’s. That would’ve been easily as inspiring as riding a 100-foot wave -- and if it helped keep oil rigs from going up off our coast -- infinitely more effective in terms of preserving their careers and the health of the industry.

But it also may have been just a little bit . . . difficult. Definitely boring. With no clear-cut immediate reward and hardly a hot chick or party in sight. In other words: 100% geeky.

Look: I don’t expect things to change overnight. Hell, I’ll sooner find myself with my boxers pulled over my head and stuffed in a locker as I will convince any of these folks to show up on a monthly basis. But, much like there can be no homecoming party without the planning committee, without us geeks there would be no Trestles rallies to attend. And without rallies, there’d be no more Trestles. Connect those same dots on the Offshore Continental Shelf and drilling, we have the power to protect every wave on the mainland US – but only if we start to protect them now.

You don’t need to join the Physics club for life – just show up once in a while to see how you can help.

You don’t have to write a whole college essay; just send a letter to your elected officials. (You can even have someone do it for you by clicking here.)

The latter you can do without a single person ever knowing you caved. And these little acts of dorkdom are what will preserve surfing’s cool factor for eternity -- but only if we do them now. If not, we’ll wake up one day to see the favorite waves and beach communities ruined. Even worse, we’ll know we never even put up a fight.

And at that point, we won’t be geeks -- we’ll be losers.

Tap into your inner-geek: take the Surf-First survey after your next session. (But only if you haven't already . . .dork.)

"USE OIL?" "USE WIND?" HOW ABOUT “USE LESS?": Thoughts on changing our energy habits after the April 6 rally

2009-04-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

Reduce, reuse, recycle, indeed.My journey to April 6’s Atlantic City Public Hearing last week — you can read about what happened here and here — began with a stop at Jon and Ann Coen’s house in LBI, which quickly segued over to Mark Tesi and Julie Goldstein’s home for an afternoon of beer-drinking and dumpster diving. Yes, dumpster diving.

For those who don’t know Mark and Julie -- as I didn’t until Sunday -- they’re artists and former owners of Pine, the gallery/surf shop that burned down last year to the dismay of the Long Beach Island community. Instead of screaming “lights out” (intentional Angry Samoans reference for all the hardcore punkers in attendance) the couple seized the day and bolted west to Cardiff to start anew, returning last week to finish moving out of their home with the help of friends -- who were more than willing to help themselves to whatever wouldn’t fit in the van.

Mark explained he’d gotten used to Spartan living over the past couple months and figured to continue the trend. So, as a gallery of onlookers watched, the less proud of us poured over the contents, ripping through bags, trying on sunnies, and generally goofing off while digging for gold. There were swim goggles. Boogie fins. Record players and bass guitars. Plus heaps of music and books. There were also some super nice examples of Julie’s painted woodwork, many larger than life.

I managed to snag some of everything. I got books by Joyce, Wilde and Lucas -- as in George Lucas. (My a son’s a Jabba-sized Star Wars fan and Episode IV is surely the series classic, even in “Golden Book” form.) I snaked iconic VHS titles like “The Search”, “Loose Change” and “Minor Threat Live.” I also nabbed a floral printed skate deck and sweet wood frame collage composition. But the big winner was Brian Strahle who drove off with an original Greg Noll longboard. Reward perhaps for not being quite so greedy as the rest of us.

It was hardly the way I expected to begin my New Jersey mission to scream about the push for East Coast oil exploration. But it was fitting. After all, part of our insane energy demands comes from the fact we throw so much away and conserve so little. In fact, my biggest disappointment while attending Monday’s meeting was while you heard lots of people scream “Use Oil!,” “ Use Gas!,” “Use Wind!” or “Use Solar!” Nobody yelled “Use Less!” (One exception being 12-year-old Christian Regan, who played the “from the mouths of babes” role perfectly – including calling out an oil exec to his face while voicing his comments.)

Read all about him on Coen’s blog – he’s Jon’s new hero. What’s funny, is Jon’s kind of my new hero. And not in a gay, Perseus from Clash of the Titans way, but in a Gandhi living his personal philosophy kind of way. (Yes, I know, they both wear loin cloths but work with me here . . .) What I’m saying is, lots of people bitch and moan, few people do. And Jon does. This is a guy with a veggie oil car on a strict pesco-vegetarian diet. Who brushes his teeth with Tom’s Natural toothpaste after he eats his Natural-brand cereal. A guy so straight edge, even his mouthwash is alcohol-free — no shit. But he still grilled our tofu dogs and burgers on a propane grill.

Goes to show: try as we might, we can’t escape our energy addiction; we can only change how we feed our habit. And one thing was clear at the end of the meeting in Atlantic City: wind or oil, gas or solar, if we don’t elect change for ourselves, someone will do it for us. Or more likely they won’t.

So make sure you attend the meeting in San Francisco on April 16. And if you can’t, file a written comment here.

And for those of you who think one person can’t make a difference, dig this: last week, with the help of Surfrider’s John Weber I got an “op-ed” printed in the Asbury Park Press. On Monday the Raleigh News and Observer ran another. Most importantly, at the OCS meeting itself, I directly addressed Ken Salazar, the head of the Department of the Interior, with comments, some of which ultimately ended up being referenced in a third piece here. And while the first articles may be a product of writing experience and contacts, this final opportunity only presented itself because – except for fellow Outer Banks surfer, Bob Oliver -- I was the only NC resident in the whole room. It happened because I showed up. Period.

P.S. There’s been waves the past few days – at least on the East Coast. If you ain’t taken the Surf-First survey, do it now.

SLICK MOVE: The petroleum industry’s foiled plot to keep me from Atlantic City

2009-04-05T03:30:00.000-07:00

I know it was you. I saw the letters on the side of your van as you sped out of the Lighthouse parking lot. They quite clearly said “A.P.I.” or “L.N.G.” Maybe it was “B.E.E.L.Z.E.B.U.B.” Whatever the acronym was hardly matters, because your little plot to keep me away from Monday’s public hearing on offshore oil has failed.

On Saturday, I made a 5:30am hail-Mary mission toward Buxton in hopes of squeaking in a last session before my three-day blitz to AC for the East Coast Offshore OCS rally. Despite several checks, I was foiled; the wind had knocked the swell down and my would-be barrel-fest down south became little more than a big U-Turn by the Lighthouse.

That’s when I saw you, right when I was checking the groin (I love saying that). As you raced away, I assumed you were merely down for a meeting with the NPS and Audubon, handing off a little payola to keep people off the beach and laying the groundwork for future goal of polluting the coast. But you had more insidious plans - - plans that involved my truck.

Because another hour later – just past the bridge, thank God – my trusty ‘Yota shit the bed (literally from the sound of it) when my transmission failed. I managed to massage my way to the beach road another 10 minutes, but alas couldn’t get ‘er home. By the time I did, I had less than three hours to figure out how I’d get to NC. There’s one rental joint in town, it closes at noon on Saturday, and it had nothing on the lot but a Dodge Ram V8 pick-up, guaranteed to burn about as much petroleum in eight hours as awaits off of our shores. Oh the iron-clad irony of it all.

But then salvation: my good friends Patti Hook and Andy Tyler said – insert holy orchestra sound affects here – “why don’t you borrow one of our cars? It’s only a couple days?” Now, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Andy and Patti both surf – hell, Patti’s a two-time East Coast Women’s champ. She’s also from New Jersey (go Bruce!). And, more importantly, their son Grant surfs, too, so they’ve got lots of reasons to keep the ocean clean. Still, I was impressed.

“Wow,” I thought. “How generous. And what a perfect metaphor for how all of us are in this thing together, and that even if we can’t be at the rally Monday, we can all do things to help the glorious struggle…” (Not really; I just made that up. My first response was actually, “Woo-hoo! I saved $250!”)

The even better news? My so-called buzzkill of a trip south was actually the best thing that could happen. Because I broke down here, I didn’t break down between NC and NJ, forcing me to spend the big day on the side of the road. Instead I’ll be there. And I may be spewing less C02 in terms of engine exhaust, I’ll be spilling plenty in terms of hot breath saying “no drilling off the East Coast.”

So to Patti/Andy/Grant, thanks again. (And don’t worry, there’s not enough oil out there to affect your motocross gas tab, whatsoever. ) And to my ‘friends’ at the petroleum institute: nice try, suckers. From now on I’ll be checking my brake lines.

P.S. And thanks to Mickey '2M' McCarthy for the photos -- see, we really are in this together and every little bit counts...sorry, i'll stop with the metaphors for now..

CALLING ALL DOUCHEBAGS: Rich? Selfish? Feel like you own the beach? Good. We need your help.

2009-03-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

I like the word ‘douchebag.’ In a world where ‘bad’ can mean good, ‘sick’ describes the most powerful and popular, and ‘cool’ and ‘hot’ are virtually interchangeable, ‘douchebag’ is unabashedly clear in its purpose. Perhaps more than any other insult. After all, terms like ‘dick’ and ‘asshole’ often apply to people who command a high level of respect — think Vice President Cheney and your average vice-principal. Or just a close friend with a mischievous personality. But a ‘douchebag’ has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. There is no silent “kind-of-a” strapped to the front. A douchebag is a douchebag is a douchebag.

So, I need to apologize to all the oceanfront homeowners out there who I may have undeservedly called ‘douchebag’ at one point or another. For, though all of these folks may be ‘rich bastards’ — another term I throw around rather freely — they are not all ‘douchebags.’

Need proof? Check out this sign from a house near me:

The owners live right on the beach. They could have put barbwire and pitch forks and Punji sticks all around their perimeter and it would be perfectly legal. But they didn’t. Instead, they continually offer up their own private driveway for a quick surf-check or drop off point to let random folks enjoy a public natural resource. All summer long, people pull up, hop around the side and dump all the umbrellas and beach chairs — a pair of ‘cornhole’ boxes plus a Confederate flag raft or two — then drive off and park about a half-mile away. Everybody’s happy. (Except maybe dad who has to hump his fat ass from the parking lot in 90-degree weather.)

I wish I could say this was the rule, but it’s the exception. This house is surrounded by little gaps in the beach fence with signs that say ‘Private’ and ‘Property Of … ‘, hell-bent on making sure nobody uses their precious dirtpath -- even for the 30 seconds. Besides the innate selfishness of the message, the approach really adds to the atmosphere. Nothing quite so relaxing as looking back from the shoreline and seeing “KEEP OUT!” and “NO TRESPASSING” written in angry, neon pink lettering. These are also the most ironic signs, since — were you to blindly follow the instructions from the ocean side — you’d be trapped on the beach forever. Over time, the sand would fill with all those pesky, unfortunate souls who love the sea but are unable to afford an uninsurable, million-dollar piece of ocean front . (I assume they would call us ‘poor bastards’.)

Now, these sign-posters are by every measure, ‘douchebags.’ Were they to put the same energy into facilitating some form of balanced access, the world would be a better place. But since that’s not the case, we need to appeal to their ‘inner douchebag’ and use their evil powers for good. And the fight against offshore oil is the perfect opportunity; in fact, I’d argue we could ask for no stronger allies. First, they obviously feel very protective of the shoreline. Second, they really love money, and nothing kills real estate values like disrupting a view — say with a bunch of oil rigs. Third, they’re most likely to be quite cozy with the douchebags — aka politicians and lobbyists — who are trying to make this happen.

If we’re to defeat this enemy, we must convert these former foes to our cause. Start by not calling them ‘douchebags’ anymore. (At least not to their faces.) Then join the local country club. Play some golf. Wear an ascot. Maybe make a racial slur. Then, once you’ve blended in, say something like, “We’re so fortunate to be able to call the beach our home. Too bad all those ‘poor bastards’ feel the need to wallow around in our front yards, coating their fat, white (thank, God) bodies with drug-store ‘Baby Magic.’ Laughing and playing with those foul, barefoot urchins they call ‘children’. Hopefully, we can get a bunch of oil rigs put up quickly. The first good oil spill oughta scare them off for good. If not, we can simply light them on fire. ”

And if the thought of their front yard caked in petroleum or a bunch of blazing tourists screaming up and down the beach doesn’t make them hyperventilate over the prospect of plunging real estate values, just take ‘em surfing. Perhaps then they may see the ocean as something more than a financial opportunity. Maybe they’ll even decide it’s a resource worthy of both sharing and protecting. And when that happens, you can officially stop calling them ‘douchebags’ for real.

Of course, most of us aren’t rich douchebags, so we must team up to show our financial might. If you haven’t taken the Surf-First survey do it now!

APRIL FOOL’S MONTH: Be an idiot; drill offshore

2009-03-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

Listen up, fool! You got an extra 24 hours to act like a dumbass this year. That’s right, instead of just April 1, you’ve you can be stupid a whole second day, depending on where you live. All you have to do is miss one of the four public comment dates over the proposal to open the US coast to offshore oil exploration: April 6 for the East Coast (Atlantic City, NJ); April 8 for the Gulf, (New Orleans, LA); April 14 in Anchorage Alaska; and April 16 for the West Coast (San Francisco, CA). And while April 1 may be the reigning holiday for ridiculous behavior and hoaxes perpetuated at other peoples’ expense, the addition of such a giant, greasy topic — and giving entire coastal regions just one day and a single location to sound off — makes for a month-long Fool-a-Palooza so big, one ship ain’t enough to hold ‘em all. This one requires a flotilla of fools.

1. SHIP OF FOOLS #1. The SS Drill Baby Drill. This one holds all the people who still buy the propaganda that expanding domestic production makes sense because somehow it will lower gas prices, make us more energy independent and show all those Muslim extremist A-ray-abs we mean business . Well, first of all, we could never meet our own domestic needs by increasing production; second, even if we put more fuel in the market, the big 10 producers will just refine less to keep the price up. (Which they’re already doing since we decreased our demand; that’s why gas is above $2 again.) And even if we could pump huge amounts, these companies would still just ship as much domestic oil as possible to another country willing to pay more (like we export 1.8 million gallon a day right now). So don’t think because we find it here it stays here. Oh yeah: and that TV ad by the Petroleum lobby saying 2/3 of America’s energy comes from North America? No shit: it’s called Canada and Mexico, neither of which is a US state. Nor are they part of the Middle East. Fool.

2. SHIP OF FOOLS NUMBER 2. Call this one, the S.S Show Me the Money!. With state budgets already upside down thanks to lower tax revenues and increased unemployment, the captain’s log includes a lot of politicians who already get a good bit of green from Big Oil and see the US economy’s current Titanic impression as a prime opportunity to earn their money. Well, let’s look at how much money states earn off those offshore leases. Start with the Gulf: in 2005, the Offshore Continental Shelf produced $5.7 billion in revenue. Of that, the largest producer, Louisiana, got to keep $40 million. Less than one percent. (But they keep 100% of the associated problems.) Now, lets look at how much revenue a clean beach generates. Dare County, NC alone makes $500 million every single year off tourism and fishing -- more than 10 times the amount of lease fees – that’s just one county. That’s not including income from residents who love to live there or businesses, or just real estate taxes. These are revenue streams that will shrink drastically if the beaches start losing quality. (Just ask Galveston.) And they’ll dry up completely the second a oil spill happens. And putting a bunch of rigs in the middle of hurricane alley guarantees it will happen one day. So, not only will you lose the tourist income, add the cost of cleanup. (The Valdez accident cost 2.5 billion – and that doesn’t include lost revenues to businesses or how many residents went bankrupt waiting 20 years for Exxon to battle paying the settlement damages.) So, basically, the financial wizards who see offshore drilling as safe and easy income are the same fools who thought housing prices and stock markets only go up. And look where that got us. (Oh yeah: stop saying there was no oil spilled during Katrina. In May 2006, the U.S. Minerals Management Service (MMS) issued a report stating that as a result of both Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, the number of pipelines damaged was 457, and the number of offshore platforms destroyed was 113, with a total of 146 oil spills recorded . . .[for] a total volume of 17,652 barrels (or roughly three-quarters of a million gallons. The “major spill” in Australia this month was closer to 50,000 gallons.)

3. SHIP OF FOOLS NUMBER 3: The S.S. Let Someone Else Deal With It. This is for all the folks who realize offshore oil is terrible idea, a bad gamble financially, ecologically and ethically, but are still too lazy to do anything about it except slap a “no oil” sticker on the hookah and fill out half an online petition between hits of renewable green energy. These may be the biggest fools of all. They’re like folks who decided to wait a few more months to sell their crazily overpriced house. Who heard Bernie Madoff was a scam artist but still sent him checks. Of anyone, this is the user group with an ability to prevent the American people from being fleeced ahead of time – but can’t get off their asses to do it, even at this critical juncture where we need every healthy economic engine we got.

SO STOP PLAYING THE FOOL. If you’re a pro surfer, an industry rep, a shopowner -- or just a person working in a humble beach town -- this is your million man march. Take a day off to fill a crowded hall and show lawmakers firsthand that the coastal communities aren’t going foot the bill and assume all the risk so our planet's most profitable companies can make another few billion dollars. Because, if they get their way, we’re the pitiful fools who’ll be stuck with all the problems, hanging off our necks like a giant gold albatross. Black gold.

You can find out more on the issue at Nottheanswer.org. There’s another rant here. And stay tuned for ways to maximize our output beginning April 6 in AC.

GREASY ISSUE

2009-03-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

Two things happened last week of some import to surfers. First, an oil barge in Australia hit by cyclone-inspired rough seas spilled thousands of gallons of oil, forcing authorities to declare "a disaster zone along 37 miles (60 kilometers) of some of Australia's most popular beaches in Queensland." Second, on Friday -- the 13th no less -- the temporary closures kicked in along Cape Hatteras National Seashore, barring both ORVs and pedestrians to huge hunks of pristine coastline. (click here to see just how huge.)

These incidents happened a half-world apart, but they remain surprisingly linked. Why? Because right now the US Petroleum industry is engaged in a full court press to open America's shores to offshore drilling. Already ridiculously well-funded and relentless, the current budget crisis crippling most coastal states makes the idea of oil revenue (however paltry compared to the billions in tourism) sound like good economic policy for politicians already getting big money from big oil. Because the frontlines of this fight may come down to North Carolina and Virginia -- where hurricanes (what Aussies call cyclones) -- routinely swoop past, making rigs and ships a much scarier idea. And where this beach closure issue - sparked and strengthened by a lawsuit started by Audobon and Defenders of Wildlife -- has turned 'environmentalists' into the official enemy of coastal residents, making it all the harder to enlist support from the fishermen and pro-access activists who feel their rights were taken away by green devils.

Check the link of how huge the closures are; read the interview with Trip Forman below about the science behind the closures, then let Audubon and Defenders know they can still find a compromise that will salvage a working relationship with the angry masses and maybe turn them toward a much larger environmental threat that has the ability to ruin habitats for all coastal species.

Then send an email to SaveCapeHatteras@RealWaterSports.com with your name and address supporting surfers access rights at Cape Hatteras moving forward.

Finally, if you haven't already, take the Surf-First survey so when your break's under attack, there's some good surfing stats to defend it. And if you think your break is safe, you're wrong. From Florida to Maine the powers that be want to keep you off the beach.

And why not? The fewer people who enjoy the beach, the easier it is to drill, baby, drill.

BEATING PALM BEACH: ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS

2009-03-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

I already did a little e-high five last week when the news broke Surfrider and friends beating Palm Beach in court, but thought I better update a little further since this landmark battle will actually become case law, meaning it will help in future fights down the road. What might be the bigger record on this one, however, is longest time elapsed without any surf media coverage. When I slammed out this quick Q and A with plaintiff Terry Gibson on Friday, I thought for sure I was already scooped. But here we are, another two days down the road, and still not a lick of recognition anywhere. Let this be a lesson to everyone on how much support and effort can you expect from your surfing brothers and sisters when it comes to protecting your homebreak. (Zero.) It's up to you. Start here.

YOU SAID IT, DUDE

2009-03-06T04:43:00.000-08:00

A funny thought hit me as I reflected on one of the comments I got at the Cape Hatteras ORV public comment period last week. As I stepped down, a guy said: "You can't be a surfer, you didn't say 'dude' once." Anyone who knows me knows that's a bullshit lie; I call everyone 'dude.' (My wife, my mom, my kid...it's a terrible habit.) But it goes to show the effect image has on these fights. All the more reason we need to prove that surfers aren't all foul-mouthed teenage stoners and proponents of public nudity. (Just the really good ones.)

For proof, you can peek at this piece my broker -- yes, my broker -- sent me. (Take that stereotypes!):
pressdemocrat.com/article/20090301/NEWS/903010966/1350?Title=Life-s-cool-for-surfer-dudes

Talks about dentist/lawyer/vintner types who ride waves in Nor Cal. Some of them even -- eek! -- bodyboard. It's just these, uh, dudes we need to tap into to prove that surfers are an element worth keeping around.

As always, if you haven't already, please go to Surf-First.org and take the survey to prove our value to the powers-that-be. And, to my stock broker: thanks for the tip. (Psst: I put everything in a diversified portfolio of Little Debbie snack cakes, Simpsons DVDs, Grateful Dead tie-dyes -- and surfboards. Lots and lots of surfboards)

TRIPPIN’ OUT:A conversation with the voice of surfing – and other watersports – in the fight to maintain access on Cape Hatteras

2009-03-05T06:51:00.000-08:00

Meet Trip Forman. As an owner of Real Watersports in Rodanthe, for the past two years, Trip’s spent hours upon hours making sure that surfers and other beach users can continue to enjoy Cape Hatteras in the face of questionable suit by Audubon and others to close the Seashore to ORV use – as well as pedestrians. The conversation shows just why the suit’s questionable, but one of my favorite things was when I explained the Surf-First concept and the need for hard, demographic and economic data to prove surfers impact and defend our rights in issues around the country. Not only did he say kiteboarding have that same problem, he said it took a magazine to finally get the numbers they needed. (Hmmm.) He also said the numbers came back showing that kiteboarders occupy a higher socio-economic status than they ever realized. (Hmmm, again.) And finally – this is my favorite part – he said, “Now I see those kiteboarding numbers spouted everywhere, a Fortune article, a Time article — everywhere. That research was so worth it.”

That all sounds so…so…eerily familiar.

Okay, enough masturbatory, narcissistic back-patting, let’s hear what Trip has to say about the what went down the past two years, and what we can do moving forward to keep surfing Hatteras. And – in my humble opinion – make sure they’re a plenty of selfish humans willing to protect it for a much larger fight to come, namely offshore oil. (And, yes, I called that one, too.)

So, I drove by the meeting place on Friday and there were no cars parked. What happened?
They terminated the meeting at the end of the first day, because neither side saw any consensus.

So it really was the failure people were saying it was?
I don’t think it was. As far as not reaching a unanimous consensus – yes, because they didn’t reach a unanimous consensus. As far as being a failure? No. Because a lot of valuable information came out over the course of the committee period in terms of how the beach was used from each of those user groups. Prior to this, the park was only superficially knowledgeable on how it was being used and now they have a much more specific idea.

Do you think surfers’ voices were heard loudly and clearly enough? Or were we sort of under-represented being one member out of 30?
Well, to be honest that’s why we got involved. At first it was 28 people with no representation for surfing or kiteboarding or paddleboarding or anything. There were people representing what happened on the beach, but nobody was representing what happened in the water. And we were involved in the whole process. Plus, everything was voted on a unanimous basis versus a majority basis, so we head the ability in every situation to say “I will not accept this proposal." A perfect example: at one point the pedestrian-only group was trying to lay claim to a popular ramp used by surfers, kiteboarders, windsurfers, families -- everyone. And we said, “We won‘t let that happen." And it didn’t.

My biggest fear is, in the end, watersports might get squeezed out because certain groups spoke more loudly over the public comment period. After all, there are more retired fishermen than surfers.
Well, that’s true. But we did have the notables who came in – Jim Vaughn, Bob Holland and Jesse Hines – which was way appreciated. And of course, Kelly and CJ chimed in. I also had a lot of people tell me their input as to what was important to them. And we chimed in on every single decision, whether it was the Lighthouse, or the Cove, or S-Turns or South Beach, we said, “This is where people surf.” So when it came to a location, we were there to provide expert information, in terms of where we needed access, times of year, etc. And that information will get weighed in when they make their final decisions. The one break that continues to be a problem, the biggest turf battle, is the Cove because of the bird closures in the summer. And there’s also a proposal for nighttime closures for sea turtles as well, which would effectively eliminate dawn patrols for people who have to work. Our personal thought on that is there could be a significant greater gain in turtle count if they were to work with communities to have a turtle-friendly lighting ordinance rather than nighttime closures; because it;s not ORV’s killing turtles on Cape Point. So there will be no net gain from nighttime closures, there will only be net loss by the fishermen who can‘t access it at night and the surfers who can’t access in the early morning.

Did they ever determine just how much ORV access is affecting the wildlife? It seems both sides always said the science was on their side, but I know the first meeting I went to, the bird scientists themselves said predation and natural causes were the leading causes of mortality.
I came to this with an open mind. I came to it wanting to represent water sports, but also wanting to hear the science to understand it better. And there really was no science put out there saying, “this is what’s happening on Cape Hatteras.” It was this is what’s happening on the entire East Coast, this is a policy for world recovery, this is Daytona, Florida — and we should apply that to Cape Hatteras. And not even necessarily “this is what’s working” but “this is what we’re doing.” And the number one thing killing everything on Cape Point is storm overwash and predation. Those two are responsible for between 90 and 98 % of the losses. So they’re focusing their whole recovery plan on 2% to 10% of the problem. And anyone who runs a business or some other project will tell you: when you have a problem, that 90% to 98% is where you focus your time and effort.

So why do they hold to the 'close the beach solution if it’s not a solution?
I don’t know. From a logical standpoint, nobody is looking at the meat of the problem and how to solve it. They’re looking at it with horse blinders on. There’s a couple things we’ve suggested that may or may not get through. Back to the turtle thing, there would be a far greater effect of leaving the point open at night and adding a light ordinance, that’s a net loss to everyone. There will be no more turtles, and nobody enjoying the cape at night. And closing cape point ,you may or may not get more pairs of chicks, but you’ll definitely see the economy drop between 20 and 50% of revenue depending on the business because the Point’s closed. We’re on the very southern edge of the plover recovery plan of which we’re a single digit percentage of that recovery plan. So a national park is being closed to citizens in defense of a micro-percentage of a species that – while it’s making a comeback in its other habits – is having no difference right here either way.

Are those economic numbers confirmed? I’ve heard some say there’s been no economic effect from the closed beaches…
They’re full of it. There’s tackle shops going out of business, there’s hotels having their worst years ever. And the restaurants, rental houses having their worst years in a long time. But that’s the other problem: they never did an economic study on Hatteras of any kind. The only economic input was from public comment, so they need to consider that as well. 100% of the businesses on Hatteras Island support ORV. And of the residents and rental property owners, I’d say 99% support ORV.

Did anyone publicly comment that they did want the beaches closed?
I think there was one person maybe who made that comment over two years.

So it really is outside organizations using federal law to flex their will in a local community without a whole lot of consideration or scientific support.
Again, there was no science from Cape Hatteras. And all the science was experts whose born cause was to bring this bird back, not anyone who was independently studying what was happening here. Whether it was a local or national recovery plan, the storms themselves rule out those results on Cape Hatteras. Another good example is they’re closing off major sections of the beach for the American Oystercatcher, yet there’s hundreds of American Oystercatchers on the dredge islands in the sound. But they will not count those because they’re not legally within the boundaries of the park. You’re literally standing on the national park looking at a dredge island full of oyster catchers and they’ll close the beach if one lands on cape point.

And this isn’t just beach driving either; it’s pedestrians, too, correct?
There’s talk of the walking buffers not being as drastic as the vehicle buffers. But this is another case of the science not making sense. Because every so-called scientist – and again, they aren’t talking about Cape Hatteras – but, again, every single one said that people walking by are a bigger disturbance than cars. So they say that, and they testify to that, but they create a plan that lets you walk closer than the cars.

Did they go so far as to create a plan that says you can take your 4Runner on the beach but not an Expedition?
Oh, because of the Toyota thing? [Audubon accepted a $20 million donation from Toyota.] No, but I don’t think Toyota knew what they were getting involved in when they threw $20 million at Audubon; because I must know 50 people firsthand now who won't buy a Toyota truck.

That’s what ‘s killing me. We’re headed toward a huge offshore oil battle in NC and these guys managed to piss off the most dedicated, loyal beach users of all time — some of the most potentially valuable allies – over an issue that may seem important, but won’t mean the beginning or end of any species. Yet, one oil spill could damage the ecosystem and economy to degrees we’ve never seen. We may never get them on our side. It just seems so short-sighted. So what’s the rest of the process?
Well, a government fact-finding process called NEPA has been happening this whole time in case NegReg failed. That’s how they normally come to these decisions anyway. So they’ll take the information from the NegReg process into account and the park will have to come to some long-term plan based on all the information they get. And they’ve asked for my input by March 26.

So how do we get our voices heard – without having people write in threatening to chop the balls off of every piping plover?
Well, that’s what I’m worried about. Because that’s what we don’t want. We want the birds to flourish. We want the turtles to flourish. But the problem with this process is nothing’s flourishing -- the wildlife isn’t, the user groups sure aren’t, and neither are the businesses. What we want is for the park to look toward this situation with a ‘net gain’ approach: find a way where the wildlife gains, the users gain, and the businesses gain. There’s a way to do that. But right now it’s all net loss.

If people send me a name, address, phone number and email, I’ll collect them and put them at the bottom of my summation, asking them to keep Cape Hatteras open for the prolonged environmental protection and economic survival. Our goal through the whole process is the new plan needs to represent a net gain for the people who walk on the beach, drive on the beach, the birds and the turtles that want to flourish on the beach. It shouldn’t be all one way or the other. We need to look at it with an open mind and the final plan needs to represent a plan a plan where everyone wins. Because it can be that way.

YOU HEARD THE MAN! Email him at: SaveCapeHatteras@realwatersports.com
Kelly spoke up. So did CJ and Dam-O. And now it’s your turn.

PALM BEACH VICTORY!

2009-03-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

First Trestles, now this? Surfers are on a run -- barring this whole Cape Hatteras debacle, and parking at S-Turns, and no surfing on Montauk and LBI changing laws...oh shit, maybe we're not on a run. Nonetheless, props to Surfrider, Tom Warnke, Terry Gibson and the rest of the New Localism mofos who took down Palm Beach's efforts to ruin Lake Worth Pier and other spots with a BS dredge-and-fill program. I'll check in soon with some insights from Terry G. In the meantime, you can read the full press release here:

http://www.surfrider.org/blogger/2009/03/palm-beach-county-chapter-wins-major.asp

One final thought: this fight took three years and a lot of firsthand personal effort. But they won. Food for thought -- fuel for future fights.

SHRED-LETTER DIARIES: Read what Slates and the Hobgoods had to say about Cape Hattreas

2009-02-27T12:45:00.000-08:00

The silence was deafening. (At least in my own head.) Yesterday was the opening Salvo of a final two-day meeting of the “negotiated rulemaking process” (aka Reg. Neg.) to determine ORV and pedestrian access along Cape Hatteras National Seashore. (I spewed about this before in the magazine; and things aren’t looking good for access, by the way.) Each day they allow an hour or so for public comment, and I’d offered to take another crack at pitching surfers’ interests. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much concrete to work with. (Nothing like the local business owners and county commissioners who preceded me could point to “30 percent drops in sales” and “10% drops in tax revenue.”) knowing I was going in less armed against the opposition, I reached out to some of the biggest guns I know to write letters for me to read: the Hobgood brothers and Kelly Slater. CJ and Damien actually own a rental house on the Outer Banks; and Kelly, well, he routinely claims Hatteras as the ‘mecca and Pipeline’ of his competitive youth. I figured, if I couldn’t quantify the area’s importance in numbers, I could at least say: “If Tiger Woods told you one of his favorite courses in the world was in Hatteras, you’d take his word for it.”

Which is pretty much what he said. In fact, he said a lot more. Pretty bitchin’ I’d barely given them a day, and this was right in the middle of the ASP Banquet; mere hours before the kick-off of the 2009 contest season. Hell, Kelly must’ve been getting drawn-and-quartered by PR responsibilities right but he still chimed in, which goes to show just how much all three care about surfing on the Outer Banks. I honestly can’t thank them enough.

Now, HERE’S THE LETTERS:
CJ AND DAMO (slightly edited out of ‘blackberr-ese”)
The first thing my brother and I did when we signed our first pro contract ten years ago was buy a house in Avon. And we did it for one reason: the waves. Their power. Their quality. Their variety. And the freedom to enjoy them all. That freedom and access is the whole reason people come to the Outer Banks. Please consider all of those elements when you're making your decisions. And keep the Outer Banks special. 

KELLY’S TAKE:
I'd have to say it'd be absurd not to think of waves as natural resources right alongside beaches, minerals, fish, and birds. The resource is used as a pleasure, necessity or business for everyone on earth. Surfing is used as all three things. Not only that, we surfers bring to light many of the issues that arise with regards to pollution and erosion concerns. There are no better people for the job as it is inherently connected to our everyday lifestyle.

The good fortune we've all had of being able to have access to surfing all the beaches along the shores of the Outer Banks has created many life long memories for tens of thousands of surfers and families who enjoy the area for all of its different resources. Many of the surfers I've been there with over the years are avid birdwatchers (which I find funny) and almost all of them are fishermen. Any day without surf is quickly filled with fishing and a freshly caught dinner.

I truly hope that surfing and waves and their beach access is equally considered in the decisions regarding the Outer Banks future. The Lighthouse has stood as a symbol of East Coast, and US, surfing since I can remember and is a mecca for easterners and all US surfers alike. Please consider this fact when determining the future of our sacred destination.

Sincerest Thanks.
Kelly Slater
9X World Surfing Champion, FL Native and long-time Hatteras visitor

But you can’t count on that type of world championship defense for every break in the US. And as I left the podium, the only thing echoing between my ears was if these meetings were just one year later, we’d have had hard stats from Hatteras ; the type of real demographic details that may have possibly changed their minds.

So, once again, I’m begging all surfers – not just in NC but everywhere in the entire US – if you haven’t taken the Surf-First survey yet, please do after your next session. That way when some other surfer breaks in trouble –quite possibly yours -- we won’t have to fudge figures. That any surer can simply go online and get them, and convincingly stand up for their own rights to the very resources surfing needs to survive. Maybe next time someone has to speak out for surfer’s rights, they’ll have something concrete to say.

WOULD YOU SPEND 15 MINUTES, IF IT MEANT SURFING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

2009-02-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

Despite being a 1000-year-old sport with a $7 billion industry, surfing has failed to produce the demographic and economic studies to show who we are, where we live, and what we spend.

So while other interest groups bolster their arguments with economic findings to prove their positions, all-too often, surfers get blindsided and bowled over, unable to offer a single hard number to support their cases or save their breaks.

Not anymore. With your help, we can start to paint a true picture of who surfers are and how we behave. And every surfer who answers provides another stroke of necessary detail. All you need to do is take 15 minutes to fill out the survey. Here's some quick rules:

Answer honestly. An accurate study is our best weapon.
When in doubt, leave an answer blank. We'd rather have less info than bad info.
Pass it along to your friends.

Visit the survey after your next surf session.